Life Untold

My Stint in the Psych Ward and Why I Like Kissing Girls…

2011-10-09T23:49:00.002-05:00

…and guys. This is only going to be a small fraction of my story. A small glimpse into my life and what I've had to hide and what I've had to deal with. First and foremost let’s talk about my visit to the psych ward and the events that brought about that most pivotal moment in my life. Where to begin? The beginning is always a good place to start, but we won’t start there. I suffer from manic depression also known as bi-polar disorder. Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very quick.

I’ve been dealing with this alone since high school. Although, not fully diagnosed with it until I was in college. While in high school I sought out acting to help me focus my feelings of depression toward something else; all the while being silent to everyone around me about my deep depressive state. In the past 15 years, I have tried to commit suicide or planned to a total of six times.

The first time was a very public display of a sickness that I’ve had since birth. I’m talking about asthma. When I was a freshman in high school, I deliberately left my inhaler at home. During the last period of the day I intentionally induced my asthma knowing I had no inhaler with me. It was winter of 1996 and I knew that I couldn’t do anything physically demanding outside in the winter, without my asthma kicking in. I ran from top floor of what was called the Annex building to the main building of the school and up three or four flights of stairs to my classroom and waited.

I felt dizzy and began to wheeze as I had planned. It wasn’t until I started feeling extremely bad when I told the teacher that I wasn’t feeling good. She then gave me a wet paper towel to put over my forehead. Haha… brilliant really. Soon after I passed out, only to remember waking up to about 8 people around me one being my mother. She had my inhaler. There were also paramedics on the scene as well.

But as I was being hauled away by the ambulance I looked up and every class in school was looking out of their window. Almost all of them anyway, my classroom was not. Apparently one of my friends was adamant about not having anyone in the class look out the window. This was partly because she was scared and didn’t want to think the worse. Admittedly, probably not the best place to have a first attempt.

I can’t explain the pain I felt at the time of my lowest points. I planned two more times after that. Once involved my asthma again and the other involved pills that I took and then threw up. Graphic, I know. Time number four was in college. Oh my college years were some of the toughest emotionally to get through. Not only did I have to put myself through college, I also had felt I had to be the same old “happy” Keyton that everyone in my family and all of my friends knew me for being, when in fact; I was far from happy. The only time in my life when I was truly happy was in 2001 and that was a brief time at that. However, I will always remember that time.

In any event, the fourth time I didn’t actually attempt suicide but it was planned to happen. It was 2005 and I had just had a car accident and totaled my car and it was coming upon graduation for me from college. There were just a lot of things going on in my life at that point that I could barely handle all of them. I won’t bore you with the details of them all here now. Although, I can’t remember the exact night I do remember what I did. I wrote three letters. One of which I wrote to my best friend Seth, one to Brock (another friend) and one to my family. The latter was cold and blameful. I felt as though I had been abandoned by family long before that night.

They were letters of poignant sacrifice. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to write them, but I did. They were good-bye letters and letters of what I was thinking at that point and time. I was in a dark place, so dark that I saw no light. I had some of my anti-depression medicine in front of me as well as a knife. Take the pills, slit my wrist, done. As much as I wanted to do those things something was pulling on my heart saying otherwise. So I picked up the phone and called my good friend Zach Kissinger. I told him of my plan and he was at my apartment in less than five minutes.

He saved my life that night.

The fifth and sixth time happened just in the past year. Because I’m entering my fifth page here in word I will not tell you the long and painful experience of my fifth attempt. Simply note that my good friend David Shoemaker came and helped me get through the night. I had an emotional breakthrough that night. It was December 2010 and I had decided to end my existence even after that night David came to my rescue.

This time I was even more determined.

I will try to keep this as brief as possible because I know you all are interested in the kissing guys part of this story. It had been decided, by me, that I would end my life on New Year’s Day. No one would be around. I could do it quietly and comfortably in the comfort of my own space. Finally, I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. There were so many circumstances that lead me to this decision. None of which I will share here. Besides that’s what my psychiatrist is for. I was determined, however; to go out with a bang! I had a New Year’s Eve Black Party. This meant that everyone that came to the party had to wear black of some sort. It was a huge success. I had the time of my life and was just happy that I could host another party where people were laughing, dancing and just having a good old time.

And we did.

Nevertheless, all good things must come to an end. As I said goodbye to my last guest, I all of a sudden felt this overwhelming feeling of sadness and despair. Reality hit me like a freight train. I had no one in my life to share anything with. I didn’t have a companion to kiss on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I didn’t have anyone to love and be loved by. “Yeah,” I thought to myself “it’s time to go.” I finished cleaning the house and I went to bed. Getting one last sleep in before the big sleep came. The next morning I didn’t bother about writing any letters, sending any e-mails, or updating my Facebook wall. I did, however, change my profile picture. It was what I wanted people to remember me as. I wanted to be remembered as a good looking guy smiling and happy with the world…

My friend Andrew Quinn was the only person that I told that I was going to kill myself that day because I knew he couldn’t do anything about it. He was in New Orleans and didn’t have anyone’s phone number that lived here in Chicago. My plan was finally going to work. Of course he tried to talk me out of it but I was adamant about going through with it this time. I wanted to see my friend Andrew Hill that day and say “goodbye” but when I texted him he said that he was busy and couldn’t meet up. I got even more depressed than I was originally. Just because I wanted to see someone I knew on my last day here. That was a lonely day.

Then, all of a sudden, Andrew calls and asks if I still wanted to hang out. By this time I wasn’t up for hanging out with anyone. I was in such a state of depression that I could barely do anything but think about leaving this world. Andrew was insistent on meeting up with me. So he and his girlfriend Shannon came to the house to get me and we went to the mall in Lombard. It was a cold day. A little bit snowy as well.

I was quite quiet during that car ride. I had wondered to myself why Andrew wanted to hangout all of a sudden when he said he was busy not one hour before, but I soon put that to the back of my mind and went on with the trip to the mall. After the mall I of course wanted to go back home and prepare for the night but Andrew and Shannon wanted me to have dinner with them and watch a movie. They were unrelenting about it all.

I was curious as to their motives but didn’t fight too much because like I said, my depression had me in a state where my energy level was so low that I couldn’t even bare to argue with them. I don’t remember what movie they picked to watch but that’s beside the point. As we where watching the movie I received a text from my friend Steve Vander Naalt asking me how was I doing. I told him the truth. We exchanged texts throughout the night and I noticed that Andrew started receiving text messages as well.

My suspicion grew.

When the movie was over, I was ready to go home. I said goodbye to Shannon as she had this look of worry on her face. I gave her the best smile that I could muster at the time and exited her house. Andrew took me home and wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried to say goodbye to him but he asked me, “What are you going to do tonight?” I lied, “Well, feed the dog and walk her. Probably go to bed. I’m pretty tired.” He was pushy and said that he wanted to watch another movie. By this time it was well past 10:00pm and if you know Andrew, he’s always in bed by now so I knew that he knew something. But how did he know?

I’m going to skip the emotional next hour and fast forward to when other people started showing up at my house. First there was David, then Malachi Lutes showed up and they all were talking about me like I wasn’t even there! I became angry. They had ruined my plan. Later I found out that Andrew Quinn got a hold of Bryan Young via Facebook. You got to love social networking. I soon ran upstairs and Andrew Hill soon followed after me. He would let me be alone.

If I knew where Bryan kept his guns I would have ran and got one and ended it right then and there instead of what I had planned. Not even three minutes went by when there was someone else at the door. I heard voices from my room that I didn’t recognize. Footsteps approached the stairwell. Somebody was coming up the stairs. I sat on my bed in a panic and fearful of whom it might be. I heard a voice call out my name as I looked a police officer had entered my room.

The police officer began to talk to me as his partner looked on, and eventually said that I had to come with them because my friends were worried about me. He also said that I didn’t have a choice basically. As I got up and went out of my room I encountered four more police officers! I guess this was the most excitement that the Winfield Police Department had seen all night. I got into the police car with Andrew. (Very uncomfortable back seat I might add.) We were taken to the hospital. I had to admit myself as the police officer looked on. It was a very long night, but my friends stayed with me. They had the strength to fight for my life even when I didn’t.

On January 2, 2011 I was admitted into the psych ward.

While there I found people like me. They were talking about their problems and what eventually brought them to that place of last resort. Me, all I could think about was what I had to do in order to get out of there. The first few days I was relatively quiet during our meeting times. I had nothing to say to them. On the other hand, as time went by I found that we were all the same. We were a bunch of broken souls coming together to encourage one another and give each other advise as to how we could beat whatever ailed us. I was only there for a week but it felt like I was there longer. In all truthfulness, I should have stayed in there longer than I was. I learned fairly quickly what it was that I had to do to get out and that’s what I did.

If you want to know more about my time in the psych ward just ask. This is already too long. Let us skip to my attraction to guys. I grew up in a Christian home surrounded by Christian values and I lived my life accordingly for 29 years. Always doing the “right” thing all of my life. I’ve always had an attraction to guys and girls but only pursued the latter.

A big part of my depression came in because of the fact that I had this “unnatural” attraction to guys. I beat my brain with bible scriptures and the like telling me that it was wrong to have such feelings. However, we all have our secrets and this one is mine. I never acted on the fact that I liked guys too and this caused much distress in my life. I was never happy with being what everyone else wanted me to be.

So now I’ve decided that it’s time to stop being what everyone else wants me to be and start “Being Me”.

I’ve weighed all the options of both sides of the argument for a very long time now. I see no reason why people of the same sex can’t be with each other if they want to. Sins are all the same in God’s eyes and if there is a particular sin in your life God will forgive you that sin if you ask for it and mean it. If you commit adultery over your entire life of marriage it is the same sin as stealing from someone. We can all be forgiven. I have gone on dates with a few girls in the past two years and have not found what I’m looking for in a woman.

I have thusly decided to date guys. I know some of you are shocked, others not so much. I am finally being me! Life is too damn short to live unhappily and I’m making the best time of what I have left on this earth and doing me. Doing what’s best for me and if you can handle that, I welcome you to stay in my life and if you can’t then it was nice knowing you. I love everyone and have tried to be as good of a person as I possible can. Life has kicked me in the ass way too many times and now I’m doing something that makes me happy.

I had my first date ever with a guy a few days ago and it was great! I’m going to be careful with my heart and time and see what happens. You can call me bisexual, gay, or whatever, I’m finally doing me and it feels good. Most of you will first see this letter on October 11, 2011. This is national “Coming Out” day, however, I despise the term “Coming Out” so for me this is National “Being Me” day. I still love my God, and I love the church but I believe God doesn’t want his children to be unhappy while on Earth. He may not condone most of our actions but I believe He is just and will judge each of us accordingly to the sins we have accumulated over our lifetime.

I still want a family and kids. If I get that with a man or a woman I’ll be satisfied. I just want to be happy again. To my family, I know this is not something that you even would consider as normal or right in the eyes of God, but I could tell you stories about your own kids that would turn your hair on end but of course, I won’t. All I want to say is that I love you and I hope you can accept the fact that I’ve been pretending to be who you wanted me to be for the last 30 years and I’m tired and done pretending. So print this letter, pass it on and share with whomever you feel like you should. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.

Call me or just simply drop me a message on Facebook. I will try to be as open and as honest as I can be. This is my liberation letter. More of a term paper actually. Haha!! I tried not to make it too long by skipping out on a lot of details but I hope you all took away the gist of what I tried to convey. Some parts of this letter were harder to write than others but I’m glad that I have finally decided to write it. Love you all and I hope you still love me to!

Blessings,

Keyton Kyles

New Blog: Greyson Chance

2010-05-13T15:20:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone! I know it's been a very long time since my last blog. My life has been very uneventful as of last year! Ha... Oh well. I lost motivation and got side tracked with other things that did not include writing. Now I'm making an attempt to get back in the swing of things. Here is a like that I wanted to share. This kid is amazing. Check him out on the Ellen show.

And the winner is.......

2009-08-20T22:07:00.006-05:00

When it came down to what I wanted my business card to say about me, I had no choice but to pick card number one of the previous blog. I wanted the card to have a nice, simple, and elegant look which I believe portrays who I am.

Between VistaPrint and 123Print, I chose 123Print for my final design. Let's discuss the two sites for a bit. While VistaPrint had a wide variety of designs and styles to choose from, the shipping was a bit outrageous. If you didn't want to get your order for almost a month the cost is $5.67. For 14 days the cost is $9.52. For 7 days $13.68, and for 3 days $26.20. The site list the last price as "RUSH+".

Now I don't know about you, but to me it seems a bit silly that it would cost almost $30 dollars to "rush" a package that probably weighs one pound. Rush to me means the next day, not three days after I've placed my order. Over all I give VistaPrint a 5 out of 10 rating.

I'm sure you've figured out by now that I chose 123Print as the company that was privileged to have my business and my public endorsement. Like VistaPrint, 123Print has a wide variety of designs you can choose from without paying anything extra.
(Note: VistaPrint offers free business cards for 42 of it's designs. All you have to pay is shipping.) This give you a freedom to create whatever card design you like.

Now; unlike VistaPrint, 123Print's shipping is a bit more reasonable. They offer 7 to 14 days(1 day processing, plus 6-13 days First Class U.S. Postal Service) for $5.90.
3 to 7 Days (1 day processing, plus 2-6 days Standard Ground) for $8.31
3 Days Guaranteed (1 day processing, plus 2nd Day Air) for $15.84
2 Days Guaranteed (1 day processing, plus Next Day Air) for $34.80
Next Day Guaranteed (Same day processing, plus Next Day Air) for $41.80

$42 dollars for next day shipping is a bit ridiculous as well but it is next day so I will cut some slack for that. My overall rating for 123Print is 8 out of 10.

I say 8 out of 10 for the following reasons. One, the second shipping rate of $8.31 is reasonable for 3 to 7 days. Two, checkout was easy and somewhat painless after being asked about the six or seven different products I could get to go with my new business cards (VistaPrint's checkout is similar). And three I received my cards two days after I placed the order.

That is what I call service.

Why are business cards so important?

2009-08-18T23:05:00.009-05:00

"No, I don't have my business card on me. I'll bring one in the next time I'm here." This is what I said to someone who asked for my business card last week. The fact that I lied and said I had one but didn't have one one me at the time, has made my mind frantic because of all the possible missed opportunities.

"Why are they so important anyway?" I of asked myself. I waited for an answer. After realizing that one wasn't going to come immediately, I then began to ponder about all the possible missed opportunities I've had at church, weddings, parties, corporate meetings and the like simply because I don't have any business cards! What have I been thinking?!?!

The following night I began searching frantically for business card companies online. The fact that I wanted to save money, have a great looking business card, and get them shipped to me fairly quickly, limited my search. I wanted to create my own card that showed people who I am.

After hours of scouring the internet and trying out different company sites I had to choose between two. I made cards at both sites, Vistaprint and 123Print.

I made custom ones. I tried the designs offered at both sites. I spent two hours pondering over which of the card designs said, "Hi, this is Keyton Kyles."

Of the four final designs I had to choose from, which do you think I picked?

Lessons In Grace

2009-06-21T12:50:00.002-05:00

I think we all can benefit from the following lesson in grace. Enjoy

When you’re going through tough times, it can be hard to see God at work in your life. Sometimes you begin to question whether He’s really paying attention to your prayers. Sometimes you begin to question if He’s even there at all.

If you’re going through a tough time in your life right now, I want to encourage you that God is hearing your prayers. He does care. And He really is there. You may even find that God is at work doing the most important work He’s ever done in your life.

It was at such a time as this that Samuel Rutherford, a Scottish minister who was imprisoned for his faith back in the 1600’s, wrote to a friend about a truth he had discovered during that extremely difficult time. He wrote: “I see that grace growth best in winter.”

When I think of the people I know who are among the most gracious, I realize that they are often the people who have been through some of the hardest circumstances in life.

The Apostle Paul was one of those people. Even though he was frequently beaten, robbed, imprisoned and left for dead, Paul didn’t let those things crush his spirit. Instead, he put his faith in Christ even more. The more he suffered, the more he seemed to grow in grace.

Listen to how Paul described himself, both in terms of his own feelings of brokenness, and the grace that God had given him in his life:

“Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things” (Ephesians 3:8-9).

Compare this description of himself with two other descriptions he gave in two of his other letters.

The author J.I. Packer notes that in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, written about 54 AD, Paul referred to himself as “the least of the apostles” (1 Corinthians 15:9). By the time he wrote his letter to the Ephesians, about 7 years later in 61 AD, Paul called himself “the least of all God’s people” (Ephesians 3:8). But by the time he wrote his letter to Timothy, about 4 years after that in 65 AD, Paul described himself as the “chief of all sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15).

As Paul continued to walk with God through all those years of suffering, he went from considering himself as the least of the apostles, to the least of all God’s people, to the chief of all sinners. It seems that the closer he got to God, the more aware he became of his own sinfulness. No wonder his letters are so filled with grace, using the word “grace” over 80 times throughout his letters in the New Testament. He truly saw God’s grace at work in his own life and wanted to extend that grace to all those around him.

Paul knew the secret of how to handle suffering: keep looking up. Keep trusting in God to work things out for His glory. Paul said as much to the Ephesians, encouraging them to keep coming to God freely and confidently, not being discouraged by Paul’s own sufferings:

“In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory” (Ephesians 3:12-13).

Paul saw that his suffering was not in vain, but would serve God’s purpose in the end. As he wrote in his letter to the Romans:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Whatever you’re facing today, keep putting your faith in Christ. Keep trusting Him that He will work all things for your good as you continue to love Him, no matter how hard it may seem at the time. Grace, it seems, truly does grow best in winter.

--Eric Elder

Forgiving Ourselves to Forgive Others

2009-06-11T10:39:00.004-05:00

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any context of history; therefore, we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our standpoint. Therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

There's been some interesting turn of events in my life as of late. None, however, to go run out and call the Calvary. This past week has been filled with drama, intrigue, frustration, joy, and a sort of pathological euphoria.

The drama and frustration came in the aspect of Christianity and the complications of certain ideas and beliefs on how our personal Small Group has been going. An eruption of emotion from all spectrums combined with a whole lot of miscommunication almost resulted in a cataclysmic disaster that could have equaled Hiroshima. Okay, that last bit could have been pushing it, but close.

Although a discussion happened I think that issues have not been totally settled but no one said this life was easy.

I find that once you learn to forgive yourself then you are free to forgive others. I have not forgotten the hope once had but sometimes I choose not to see it. I choose not to see that hope in myself and in other people. The week of drama with group has reopened my eyes to a lot of things and has gotten me to question what am I here for exactly.

We all get angry and say things at times that aren't best thought out. That's were forgiving ourselves comes into play so that we can forgive others. But I digress.

I met someone a couple weeks ago. That's where the intrigue factor comes into play. This is the first I've spoken of it and if you read this then you are the first to know. :-) I'm not going to say her name just in case someone who reads my blog happens to know her, which is highly unlikely. However, it's better to be safe than sorry.

On our initial meeting I found her to be absolutely amazing. Not only does she share the same beliefs I do, but other things about her and I are alike. I will refrain to say what just out of caution. I haven't felt so excited in a long time so I'm diving in head first.

Finally, my joy and pathological euphoria comes into play with the reunion of my old friend Greg Scheuermann. He was in town for a seminar and we got a chance to hang out a couple days catching up on life, love, and the happenings thereof.

It was truly a great few days to get to see him. I'd been looking for this kid for about four years or so and finally found him bigger (literally) and better than ever! After our time together he proposed I come move in with him in Detroit. To which I am giving deep consideration.

Until next time my friends. Be safe. More blogs to come often. Promise.

I can't believe this!!! Oh wait, this is America, nevermind!

2009-05-13T00:32:00.002-05:00

After weeks of not having anything to write about or having anything worth writing about, I come upon a story that I simply cannot just read and not write about. An Ohio Christian school tells a student that he will be suspended if he took his girlfriend to her prom.

Tyler Frost a senior at Heritage Christian School in northwest Ohio, dared to challenge the school for his rights to do whatever he wanted to do during non school hours.

The school in turn suspended him for attending the dance, now he won't be allowed to take his final exams on time or graduate with the rest of his class. What the hell!?!

I'm sorry. I simply can't believe that a so called Christian school would threaten a student with such drastic action. This angers me to no end. This is yet another reason why so many Christians get heckled for being "radical" and "uptight".

The first story can be found here and the updated one here.

Okay....

2009-04-20T20:50:00.002-05:00

"If I look at myself, I am depressed. If I look at those around me, I am often disappointed. If I look at my circumstances, I am discouraged. But if I look at Jesus, I am constantly, consistently, and eternally fulfilled!"

--Anonymous

For weeks now I've been filled with so much to blog about but due to certain circumstances I've not been able to. Now that I have access again to my blog, I have nothing to say. Just that the above quote is often how I feel daily.

Hopefully, I'll be back into the swing of things and let my thoughts flow once again. But right now I am empty. I have nothing.

Arrrgggghhh....

2009-04-06T17:07:00.003-05:00

Sorry all for the lack of posting lately. I've not been able to access my blog on my computer, so I've not been able to write or post any new recipes I've been working on. I will try to rectify the situation soon. I'm using a puter in the library to type this now.

Hopefully, I'll have my PC working so that I can write in my blog. Until next time... eat healthy! :-)

Healthy Eating: Boneless Porkchops with Asparagus and breadcrumb topping.

2009-03-19T21:54:00.007-05:00

"A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish."
--W. H. Auden

Who says food has to be boring to be healthy! Pish posh!! You can cook a healthy and great tasting porkchop dinner without having it deep fried and battered in who knows what. My next dish is a healthy seared boneless porkchop with asparagus and a delicious breadcrumb topping that adds the perfect crunch to the meal. The recipe is below.

For Porkchops:

4 Bonless porkchops (about 6 ounces per serving)
1 tbs oregano
1 tps ground tyme
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbs olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

For breadcrumb topping

1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese
1 cup of Italian breadcrumbs
1/4 cup fresh flat leaf parsley
2 cloves of garlic (crushed and diced)
2 tbs butter or olive oil

About 10 Asparagus

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Season pork chops with first five ingredients. Heat pan on medium high heat and add olive oil. Add chops and sear until desired browness on both sides, about 4 minutes per side. Transfer chops to an oven safe dish and bake for 20 miuntes or internal temperature reaches 160.

In a large pot bring 5-6 cups of water to a boil. Shave or snip asparagus ends and add to boiling water for about two minutes. Remove immediately.

In a large skillet on medium heat add butter or olive oil and bring to simmer. Add breadcrumbs, diced garlic, Parmesan cheese, and parsley. Stir until cheese melts. About two minutes. Remove from heat and pour topping over asparagus.

I hope you enjoy this healthy meal that's loaded with protein, calcium, iron, and potassium. Each serving is only about 275 calories! Not including the garlic bread pictured. :-)

Staying Positive in Tough Times

2009-03-14T22:34:00.003-05:00

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
--Jim Elliot

There are a lot of saying about having a positive attitude toward life, but sometimes having those positive attitudes can be quite the challenge. If our lives are indicative to how we see life and the people that encircle our little vortex therein, then how should our attitudes come into play?

Often times I can have a wide range of emotional moments in just one instance. I can have a bleak and undeserving thinking outlook on life while at the same time outwardly displaying a jovial existence. Why is this? Why must we pretend to be what everyone expects us to be?

There is no one definitive answer to this question, for there are many. My answer is because that's all I've ever known. Can I break this habitual habit. Maybe. Then again maybe not.

Stained Glass Masquerade

2009-03-11T15:11:00.008-05:00

"So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay... If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too"
--Casting Crowns

I have been listening to a lot of Casting Crowns lately and off of the "Lifesong" CD there's a song that has resonated with me in my personal life. It's called "Stained Glass Masquerade", the lyrics are below this blog.

There's something about music that tends to resonate with the soul like nothing else can. You can listen to a song and be totally mesmerized in it because you can identify with it. It's amazing just how music can evoke such responsiveness from our inner being that otherwise would be stagnant.

Music can be a cathartic element in someone's life or a outsource of rage or exacerbation. Music is many different things to many people but without it, the world would be a little bit sadder. I'm grateful for music.

Stained Glass Masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Are you in mourning?

2009-03-10T23:18:00.004-05:00

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
--Matthew 5:4

Tonight in Small Group I lead a discussion on mourning from the beatitudes in Matthew. As a group, we are going through and discussing the beatitudes and this week we focused on verse four.

We talked about what it meant to be in mourning and if it was internal or external. Our conclusion brought us to the fact that it is both. A lot of people do the majority of their mourning on the inside as to not let their hearts be exposed to be hurt. I myself fall into this category.

While others show exactly how they feel outwardly making their cries public wanting some sort of consolation. However, the mourning in this passage is speaking of mourning over sin itself. Be it sin done to God or someone else. It is the act of being repentant of that sin.

I think this mourning can best be defined as in 2 Corinthians 7:10 which states, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." So our mourning should lead to a repentant heart for salvation's sake and we should not feel regret thereafter because Jesus died for our sins and His death is good enough!

After we mourn we can now be lavished with the beauty that is God's comfort. It is His gift to us saying that He is still with us no matter what. He is and always will the God of all comfort, and He's here to wrap us in His loving arms and provide to us that needed comfort.

Side note: Ben, The Essence of Emeril is a Cajun seasoning that is absolutely fantastic! Made by Emeril Lagasse, it provides a great balance of flavor without sacrificing the natural flavors in simple dishes. Here is a picture of it for you.

Healthy Eating: Fresh Fish

2009-03-08T22:51:00.004-05:00

"He who eats alone chokes alone."
~~Proverb

The above quote made me laugh so I decided to have it as the starter quote.

One of the best things to eat is fish. Most fish is loaded with protein, iron, and even vitamin A and it tastes great. I would recommend getting fresh fish from your local butcher. You can't beat the taste of fresh fish.

When picking out fish, try to buy fish that is U.S. raised. Imported fish, although fresh, has been exposed to air longer and may have a more fishy taste. If you don't see any U.S. raised fish then go for the imported stuff. Again, fresh fish is the best fish.

When shopping for the perfect fish, ask your butcher what the catch of the day is and ask him to let you smell the fish! Yes, I know. I'm telling you to smell before you buy. It sounds weird but it is necessary. If the fish smells fishy then it probably is. You want to get fish with little or NO smell at all!

Many people don't like fish because it tastes "fishy". A friend here in Chicago was such a person, until I invited him over and made some salmon for him. As we were eating he told me that that was the best fish he's ever eaten. "It didn't even taste fishy," he said. That's because it was fresh!

Now, granted, fresh fish maybe a bit more expensive than frozen but it is worth it when it comes to the taste. Here is my low calorie recipe for my kicked up baked salmon.

Keyton' Kicked-Up Baked Salmon

4 Salmon fillets cut about an inch thick
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon Essence of Emeril
2 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
The juice of one lemon plus a few lemon wedges for garnish
Salt and pepper to taste

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Season fillets on all sides with cayenne, essence, and salt and pepper. Put fish on baking dish. Finely chop garlic and sprinkle over fish. Drizzle with olive oil. Bake fish for 10-12 minutes or until opaque. Remove from oven and squeeze lemon juice over fish. Garnish with parsley, lemon wedges and serve.

This heart healthy meal is about 185 calories per serving! You can't beat that! I hope you try this recipe and tell me what you think! Enjoy!

Healthy Eating

2009-03-05T10:31:00.003-06:00

"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!"
~~Tommy Smothers

Today I'm kicking off a new series called "Healthy Eating". I think it is important for everyone to be aware of what they put into their bodies and the different options there are for a good healthy lifestyle. I'm a big believer in cooking for yourself and avoiding the fast food route.

I hope you will find this series of blogs to be both helpful and beneficial to your everyday life. I will also include some of my own heart healthy recipes and others that I really enjoy. This brief article was submitted to the Examiner.com

Chicago winters can be brutal. The cold is bone-chilling. You are less likely to do activities outside. After a long days work sitting on a warm couch in front of a cozy fireplace with remote in hand, waiting on the pizza you just ordered to arrive at your front door, this would seem to be the perfect plan for a relaxed night.

What’s wrong with this picture? It is easy to get in the habit of doing just that every night. Often times we find ourselves in this place of habitual redundancy and can’t seem to see a way out of it.

I’m here to tell you that it is possible! Get up and get in the kitchen. Plan a meal that will both satisfy the natural need of giving your body its necessary nutrition while at the same time helping yourself get out of that place of redundancy.

If you are on a budget, I will show you how to eat healthy on even the tightest of budgets. Cheap junk food is never the way to go when thinking about your wallet. I will show you how to change your outlook on what is “healthy” for you and your family.

Don’t feel like spending time in the kitchen after a long days work? That’s okay. Start a heart healthy meal before you leave home! I will show you that it doesn’t take a great cook to make a great healthy meal.

Single? That’s okay too. I can show you how to cook for one without sacrificing flavor or wasting food! Join me and let’s eat our way to a better tomorrow.

Poor in spirit

2009-03-04T16:59:00.003-06:00

"I have seen the future and it doesn't work."
-- Robert Fulford

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
--Matthew 5:4

Sometimes a bad day can turn into a bad few days and eventually a bad week. This was the theme at last nights Small Group meeting. A lot of us just had a bad week myself included into the bunch. Sometimes it's hard to get past those "bad days" and think about all the good that's in you life.

For me thinking about the good helps a bit when the bad rears its ugly head. Self-sufficiency is the direct opposite of being poor in spirit. If we are self-sufficient then we are not relying on God or our brothers and sisters when we have those "bad days".

Relying on self usually is our ego reminding us that the world wants us to do it on our own. Without any help from any foreign entities. It is easy to turn people away and say, "I don't need any help with this. I can handle it on my own. I am self-sufficient."

Our journey in life is meant to be lived out with others. Our neighbors, friends, and family no matter how screwed up we may think they are, God has put them in our lives for a reason. It is up to us to utilize those relationships for the betterment of ourselves and the people in our lives.

Right now I am not poor in spirit but I am trying to be more vulnerable in the areas that make me self-sufficient. I am trying to recognize my utter spiritual bankruptcy apart from God. I think we can all take a step back and try to see how flawed we really are and let the helping hands of the people in our lives pick us up from the darkness.

There's Really No Excuse... But Here's Mine

2009-03-01T23:56:00.007-06:00

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-- Matt Groening

For someone to give an excuse is their attempt to remove blame for an action that they may have done or not done. I have thought about the many reasons to tell you why I've not been writing daily on my blog site. And for all the many reasons that I thought of telling you none would have been the truth.

That truth is, I've been lazy. I haven't felt like writing. I've been unmotivated and quite frankly not wanting to do much of anything. My mind has been going in a billion different directions trying to figure out life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Okay that last part was a bit much but you get the picture.

Side note: User saritas_hand whom identified herself as "Steph", I need a little more to go on with your name. I know like 6 Stephanie's. Thanks for stopping by! Become a follower!

Okay, if you don't want to be kinda grossed out I'd advise skipping the next three paragraphs.

So this is what's going on with me right now. I recently have been getting over the flu. As of Friday my cough has finally kinda subsided, however, I've developed a new and very disgusting symptom or whatever.

I am congested. I have a lot of mucus build up and it freaking stinks! Literally!! It smells like dog butt! I'm totally disgusted by it. Every time my nose gets clogged and I go to blow it, I smell dog butt! You may ask, "How do you know what dog butt smells like?" Well, we have a dog and when she licks her butt and comes in my face, I her her mouth smells like dog butt. Nasty.

Then the mucus smelling dog butt manages to go to the back of my throat and I have to hack it up and smell dog butt even more!!! It's so nasty. I've never had anything like this happen and let me tell you, I can't wait until it is gone. I have looked online and self diagnosed myself and apparently there may be an infection of some sort that my body is telling me I have. I don't know. I'm just going to keep taking Mucinex and hope for the best.

Okay so the gross part is done. I hope you (my blog buddies) are doing well and I will write more to keep you entertained! LOL!!

"People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure."
-- Russell Baker

A guy asked me out... I said yes

2009-02-15T00:52:00.004-06:00

So, I just went on a date, with a guy! He asked me, "Want to go on a Valentine's date?" I laughed and said, "Sure. Why not!" I've never been asked out on a date before. It was quite flattering I must say.

So have I gotten your attention? Good. Read on.

Steven, the guy who asked me out, is quite an interesting guy. He is a guy who wants to know Jesus more and desires to know more about the word. We've been trying to hold each other accountable in diving deeper into the word. Key word being "trying".

No, Steven is not gay. He only asked me out because we both are single and were the few people in our Small Group to not have any plans on Valentines day. All in fun. However, we did have dinner, had drinks, and saw a movie. The movie that we watched was "Taken" staring Liam Neeson.

Anyway, we had really good one-on-one time to get to know each others heart. I've been missing time like that spending with my friends while here. Chicago is a great place to live but when you start off knowing no one it gets a bit lonely. I'm forever looking and wanting to do/hang out with someone, ANYONE!

For once I had a good Valentine's day. My date was awesome! LOL!! Oh, my next blog is going to be on the reasons behind my lack of blogging. Sorry everyone

Today's Smile

2009-02-11T10:19:00.001-06:00

An old fellow had a conscience that troubled him. At last he went to a farmer and said, "Master, I'm sorry. I stole a rope from you a while back." His master forgave him and the countryman went away. But he still had no peace of mind. For he had not told the farmer that there was a cow at the end of the rope when he stole it.

--Peter Howard

Today's Smile

2009-02-06T20:54:00.001-06:00

I once saw a quaint inscription of a gravestone in an old British cemetery not far from Windsor Castle. It read:

"Pause, my friend, as you walk by;
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be;
Prepare, my friend, to follow me!"
I heard about a visitor who read that epitaph and added these lines:
"To follow you is not my intent,
Until I know which way you went!"

--Warren Wiersbe

LOVING YOURSELF

2009-02-03T23:08:00.001-06:00

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

-- Psalm 139:13-14

It's a very difficult thing to love yourself. Especially if you look at yourself realistically. Especially if you compare yourself to Jesus. You know what you've done in your life. Even though you may have repented of those sins, asked forgiveness for them and turned away from them, they're still there, lurking in your memory. Even though God has forgotten them, you haven't. Even though God has forgiven you for them, you haven't forgiven yourself.

So, you strive for acceptance. You behave in ways that you think will make people like you, even though you think you're not very likeable. You achieve so people will admire you. You lose weight and exercise, not because it makes you feel better or to be healthier, but because you want to be attractive to others. You follow all the rules and hope that no one notices when you break one. You do everything you can possibly do to make yourself fit in, to conform to the image you've set up for yourself, to be the person you think you're supposed to be... all the while forgetting that one important thing... God made you who you are and He loves you, warts and all.

God didn't make you like anyone else. He made you to be yourself. You are precious and special to Him because of your uniqueness. You don't have to please anyone but Him. Not even yourself. And even then, His love is not conditional on whether you please Him. His love is there because it is there. He loves you because He loves you.

If you're having a difficult time accepting yourself for who you are, read these verses again…

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Remember, God don't make no junk.

Today's Smile

2009-01-26T22:46:00.001-06:00

"Prayer changes things--and people. I have found that out so many times but I often wonder how God puts up with me with all my faults and failures. Surely He must have INFINITE patience to put up with all of us who make such blunders as we try to represent Him in this hell-raising world, and to be perfectly frank, 'We ain't seen nuthin' yet!"

--David Otis Fuller

When Life Is Difficult

2009-01-20T23:42:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I have to remind myself that God's hand is in everything.

35 Encouragements When Life Is Difficult

God's hand is in everything, so we can leave everything in God's hands.
God will work with us in a seemingly hopeless situation.
No matter how far you have strayed, God still love's you.

Jesus has promised to answer whatever you ask, if its in His will for you.
Great problems put you in a perfect position to watch God's big answers.
Just take one small step toward Me and I will meet you there.
Concentrating on God and his power will help us see the way out.

Focus on God and trust him- that is all he needs to begin His work in you.
God doesn't need much from us to accomplish his plan for our life.
I am powerless to choose my fate; I have the power to choose my response to my fate.
Let God have your life, he can do more with it then you can.
I will never turn away anyone who comes to me.

You can give God a thimble, a bucket, or a drum to fill.
We never know what good He will bring out of a seemingly hopeless situation.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never abandon you."
Let's not doubt God's all-sufficient enablement. He will carry us through life's darkest hours.

When God is at work, suffering setbacks, hardships may still occur.
Samson's story teaches us that it is never too late to start over.
Believe that God has a solution, a provision, or a gift to match your difficulty.
Ask, "What would Jesus do?"

God always answers our prayers, changes circumstances or supplies power to overcome.
Do not worry about tomorrow, sufficient for today is its own trouble.
God in His mercy delivered His people over & over again.
If you are praying for relief & not happening as quickly, God may be leading you to special treasures.

Sometimes the solution & blessing lie in the place we have ignored, right in front of us.
Only when we are brought to the end of ourselves are we in a position to see more of God.
We know God has a position for you using your gifts & personality.

God is personally involved in your life and nudges you to ask for his power to help you.
Wait with expectancy and availability, trusting God to work out His perfect will.
Praise Him- even before He acts.

Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you...it does mean God has a better idea!
God's delays are not God's denials.

When you've exhausted all possibilities, remember this: You haven't!
When we try, in his name, to seek forgiveness, God blesses even our mistakes.

Complied R. R. Ball

28 with a new lease on life

2009-01-18T23:15:00.005-06:00

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down."
-- Leo Rosenberg

Today I've reached the ripe old age of 28. I feel good. I feel darn good! I've always said that I hate being an odd number. 27 was a hard year for me. I feel like being an odd number in someway makes me feel crappy. It's an unfounded feeling I know but it's the way I feel nonetheless.

I don't know. There was something different in the air today. I had an optimism today that I haven't had in a long time. The year for me started out really crappy but today I feel like this will be my year. The year I change. Change for the better.

I mean seriously, I'm 28, I'm in great shape, and dang hott!! I mean muy caliente! The picture above proves my point. Why again am I still single?! Ladies seriously, a hott Christian guy, come on! Haha...

I really feel a change in the air.

God Leave Me Alone!

2009-01-09T20:55:00.003-06:00

20 "Only grant me these two things, O God,
and then I will not hide from you:

21 Withdraw your hand far from me,
and stop frightening me with your terrors.

22 Then summon me and I will answer,
or let me speak, and you reply.

--Job 13:20-22

God leave me alone! This is what I take away as I read the passage above. Job is asking God to chill out with tormenting him. His kids have been murdered. His businesses are ruined. His employees have been murdered. He has sores or boils all over his body, and he's telling God to chill out because he doesn't think he's done anything to deserve the punishment he's been receiving.

This is how I feel at times. God chill out! Seriously! I do my best to be upright in character while trying to live a holy and straight forward life as best I can. Yet crap still happens to me. My life is not near as bad as Job's was but it's close enough.

I have yet to figure out what God's plan for my life is. I'm constantly trying to listen. Today I locked my keys in my car for the second time in a six month period. I've only locked my keys in my car twice ever! Oh did I forget to mention both times my car was RUNNING!! The first time I did this my car was on for over 5 hours in a closed garage!

I know, I know, how do you lock your keys in your car while it's still on? I've done it twice! That was just an addition to my bad day. We had to call the village police to come and break into my car. I called a locksmith only to hear that they charge $95-130 to unlock your car, so we just called the police. They did it for free.

The events which occurred today has thrown a bigger wrench in my plan to achieve spiritual brokenness. I've become too angry to be broken. So far my year isn't off to a great start. However, I'm trying to stay positive because I know that this life isn't going to get easier.

I love God but I don't trust Him.

2009-01-08T21:05:00.003-06:00

The past few weeks of my lack of blogging have lead me to discover new and interesting things about myself I would otherwise have not. I've had so many mishaps in my life to where I've not fully understood but have managed nonetheless.

As for religion I've had my frustrations and doubts like anyone else, but have held fast to the fact that I believe in a God who transcends all doubt. I have relied on the fact that my love for Him is real and with Him all things are possible. It seems through my many years of studying God's word and attending conference after conference, I knew all there is to know about myself and what I need to push through.

I've made a good friend here in Chicago who is also my accountability partner the likes of which I've never had before. Colin's not afraid to ruffle my feathers and tell me things I don't want to hear. I've been fighting being broken. I've yearned for brokenness but have resisted it in every aspect.

I love God enough to do whatever it takes to help others but I don't trust Him to have total control of my life now. I don't know what it's going to take for me to give way and let God be the God He so wants to be in my life. I'm still learning to trust once more.

Trust in the things promised to me.

Trust in the prophetic words spoken over me.

Trust in God's sovereignty.

Trust in myself.

I am sorry....

2009-01-04T16:09:00.003-06:00

To all my faithful readers, I am sorry. I haven't been able to write anything for quite sometime now. The holiday season hit me pretty hard. Lots of things kinda happened at once and I haven't been steady in my blogging and for that I apologize. I will update soon.

Today's Smile

2008-12-18T20:40:00.000-06:00

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

--Unknown

Merry Christmas Keyton

2008-12-17T15:30:00.003-06:00

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have."

--Hebrews 13:5

Two days ago, I was doing some Christmas shopping, getting ready for the long drive to Louisiana from Chicago, IL. I was just doing some last minute shopping for friends and family. I had previously thought I wouldn't have had the chance to visit home, but I soon was able to get off work and everything.

I then became extremely excited and called everyone telling them I'd be home for Christmas. I was really excited to see my best friends Seth and Brock. It's always refreshing to see and hang out with them. As well as my dear friend Zach! I miss Zach! Holiday's tend to bring joy, laughter, and happiness to all.

I love the holiday season. I find joy in the happiness of others. Especially my friends and family. If they are doing okay, then so am I. I digress. As I mentioned before, I'd done a lot of shopping a couple days ago. On my way to the grocery store, I hit some ice, lost control of my car, hit a curb, ran off road, and my tire exploded, and rim bent.

This caused my front alignment to be drastically out of alignment, and further damaging my front axel. Long story made short, it will cost $600 dollars to get fixed. Merry Christmas Keyton. Now, my car is not drivable, and want be repaired in time for me leaving. Not that I can afford to readily have it fixed anyway.

I'll be spending the holiday right here in Chicago, which I am slowly coming to grips that it is okay. Yes, I'm sadden that I want be spending with the holiday with my loved ones but that's life sometime. You have to make the best of it.

Beautiful People

2008-12-11T23:02:00.003-06:00

I think that Jason Upton is one of the most prolific worship leaders and song writers of this generation. His music speaks to the heart of God. You can hear is passion and feel his heart as he conveys his emotions for his King.

I recently listened to the EP "Beautiful People" and found it to be both intrinsically apt for our generations heart cry. We are all beautiful people! Here are the lyrics.

Turn down the radio, I wanna hear.
Turn down the voices, hurting my ear.
There's a moment, getting away...
and there's something, I wanna say.

Roll down the windows, and this is what you'll hear:
the sound of a stranger's voice in your ear...
Is it fear that, has kept you away?
From the song and the wind and the waves?

Saying: we can be friends, if you want to...
there's a friendship waiting... to be.
We can be friends, if you want to...
take my hand, be friends with me.

Beautiful music, memories and years...
of beautiful laughter and beautiful tears.
I's a beautiful morning today...
with the wind blowing... every which way.

Beautiful people... forgive and forget.
and eyes look like children, who haven't lost yet
Entrust us the strength of their love
disarms all the powers... that separate us.

Because: we can be friends, if you want to...
there's a friendship waiting to be.
We can be friends, if you want to...
take my hand, be friends with me.

Today's Smile

2008-12-10T20:14:00.000-06:00

Well, enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think about me?

--Bette Midler

We Are Light To A Darken World

2008-12-09T23:22:00.000-06:00

"For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,

'Awake, O sleeper,
rise up from the dead,
and Christ will give you light.'"

--Ephesians 5:8-14

Tonight in small group we discussed 1 John 1:5-9 which reads, "This is the message we heard from Jesus[a] and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. 6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. 7 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."

In verses 5-7 I believe light is to be understood as truth and righteousness; darkness here is error and corruption. If we are in God's light then we are standing in His truth. The truth of His word, and His promises to us. Once we step out of His light we are in darkness which allows for sin to come in and corrupt our every being.

This darkness will cause us to have our shield and sword down, leaving us vulnerable to the enemy's attacks. To walk in light or darkness is to live according to God's truth or to Satan's lies. This is not merely done intellectually but morally. Fellowship with God and with one another consists in a life according to the truth as found in God and in Christ.

We must know God to find what His truth is. And knowledge only comes by the word of the Lord. The Bible.

In 1 John 8 and 9 and even 10, if we have denial of the condition of the sin that is in our lives, then we are self-deceiving ourselves and in ways even contradictory of divine revelation. This also brings to light the continual possibility of sin's recurrence in our lives. In order for us to be forgiven and delivered from sin through Christ Jesus, we must acknowledge the fact we are sinners, and ask for forgiveness.

This message hit home with a lot of guys in our small group tonight. If you are struggling with a particular sin, confess it to God and then someone whom you trust to hold you accountable. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Prayer: God please allow me to focus on what your word says and not on what I may want. Bring me into Your light and guide me to continually walk in Your way. I confess my sins to You with a heart of repentance. Let Your glory shine in me so that others may see and be healed. Amen.

It's Not About You

2008-12-08T17:56:00.001-06:00

"Not until we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God's holiness and sovereignty... acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts, and willing to have our minds turned upside down, can divine wisdom become ours."

--James I (J. I.) Packer

I've been battling within myself a lot lately. I've been questioning a lot of decisions I've made and those that I choose not to. My friend Colin has been a huge support system for me lately.

God's using him to speak truth in my life. I like to be available to people and meet their needs whenever I can. To show them love like we (Christians) are suppose to. Colin wants to focus our Small Group on spiritual gifts.

One of my giftings is that of teaching. It's something that comes naturally to me, however, I don't want to use it. About two months ago I stepped down from leading our Small Group because I got "too busy". The fact was, I was too scared to continue doing it.

I had been a Small Group leader for years and I just didn't want to have that burden on me once again. I just want to help in other ways and not utilize my gift of teaching. Colin is a person who says what he feels God leading him to say, even if it's hard to swallow.

What he told me was really hard to swallow. In fact, I felt like I had tried to swallow a baseball. He told me that when people came to me for help and I gave it to them, it wasn't me providing it. It was God through me. He said that it wasn't all about me. I was just God's vessel in those situations.

A lot of things transpired during our conversation that dug deep into my heart and hurt. It hurt tremendously. No one had ever spoken to me the way he did. At first I was taken aback and thought, "I know he didn't just say that to me? Who does he think he is?"

After taking what he said into consideration, I realized he was spot on about everything. I know that God is string something in my soul bigger than I can imagine. I hope you continue to journey with me as I find what that something is.

I was reminded tonight after reading my bible, that we must die to our sins in order to be delivered from its power. We must read God's word to do this. To put on the armor of God and stand with a boldness and determination that Satan will not have a hold on any parts of our lives.

Stand with me because it's not about you!

Time Is

2008-12-07T14:33:00.000-06:00

Too Slow for those who Wait,

Too Swift for those who Fear,

Too Long for those who Grieve,

Too Short for those who Rejoice,

But for those who Love,

Time is Eternity

Henry Van Dyke

I Am Second

2008-12-06T14:49:00.004-06:00

A friend of mine, Korey at Scandalous Sanity, posted a blog about this site called "I Am Second" that I find very interesting.

It's a site that's designed to "help people discover their purpose in life." It's about people both famous and non. I really like the story of former "American Idol" contestant Jason Castro. Being as I'm a fan of his, I thought it cool to see him speak openly about his Christianity.

Please take some time to listen to the stories of why these people are second.

Thanks Korey for directing me to this site.

Click HERE to go directly to the site.

Christian Reality TV Arrives on Cable

2008-12-05T17:20:00.000-06:00

There are three new Christian Reality TV shows that will be premiering on cable. These shows goals are to entertain while spreading the word about Christianity.

One show is called "The Uprising." This show is on the Inspirational Network,it stars three Christian pro skateboarders who bring Jesus to the world of skateboarding. "Revolve: Rockin' the Road" is another reality show that follows four people on the road of a Christian Rock festival.

You can read more about the shows HERE and see video and the home sites.

Men of Righteousness

2008-12-03T23:51:00.011-06:00

"So we urged Titus, since he had earlier made a beginning, to bring also to completion this act of grace on your part. But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us[a]—see that you also excel in this grace of giving. I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others."

--2 Corinthians 8:6-8

Every holiday season I dread receiving gifts. Not because I don't like what people give me, or I am afraid they will want something too. It's because I would much rather give than receive.

To me there is a joy in seeing someone else receive a gift that puts a smile on their face. I admire the gift that God's bestowed on my best friend Seth. He is a man who truly has the gift of giving. If he had only one shirt left in the world and he saw that you needed it, he'd take it off his back and give it to you.

I've learned so much from him in that area. God has allowed him to be humble in his actions and not losing himself along the way. The first present he ever gave me was the best I've ever received.

Tic tacs.

To you that may seem like a simple and easy gift to give. But the simplicity of it and the thoughtfulness behind it, meant the world to me. Seth new I was a die hard tic tac fan and he thought of me when he bought them. Gifts like that make me happy.

Seth is the most amazing guy you could ever meet. As of late I've been talking a lot about him to my new friends describing different scenarios that we've experienced. Sure he has his faults like everyone else, but he more than makes up for them with his kind heart.

Today guys, let's try to give in the spirit of the Lord. With, a mind of service and a heart of praise.

Feed My Starving Children

2008-12-02T23:25:00.008-06:00

"Every one must study his own nature. Some of you can sustain life with less food than others can, and therefore I desire that he who needs more nourishment shall not be obliged to equal others, but that every one shall give his body what it needs for being an efficient servant of the soul. For as we are obliged to be on our guard against superfluous food which injures body and soul alike, thus we must be on the watch against immoderate fasting, and this the more, because the Lord wants conversion and not victims."

--Francis of Assisi

When fasting comes to the minds of most people, they think of fasting food. There are, however, more things that we can fast that will please God. I once fasted carbonated drinks because I felt that they were consuming me in every way. I also once fasted the internet. That was one of the toughest fasts I have ever done.

When you think about it, it shouldn't have been. In today's society the internet is what we live, breath, pay bills, and facebook on. My point in saying this is that fasting requires you to sacrifice something that you would normally do and spend some time with God or in His presence somehow.

Today, I fasted my time. Our small group volunteered at the organization "Feed My Starving Children." This was my second time doing this service project and it has touched my heart in ways words cannot express.

Feed My Starving Children (FMSC) is a Christian organization dedicated to feeding God's children throughout the world "by helping to instill compassion in a generation that hears and responds to the cries of those in need."

This is a terrific organization. After watching the videos of how many people they've helped feed, my heart swells with love for the children in those third world countries. As I said we volunteered at this place earlier in the summer and tonight we found out some horrible news.

After one of the shipments of food arrived at its destination, one of the militant groups who didn't want the people to have the food, burned it! They burned over a year's worth of food that could have feed an entire village.

When I heard that news my heart sank with disbelief. To know those kids would not be getting the food sent to them absolutely broke my heart.

Today we packed enough food to feed 51 people for an entire year. That's over 1500 meals! That's a village and a half! FMSC is more than just a Christian organization. It's a place where hope can be found in the faces of children who need it.

If you are able please donate to the organization today. $14 dollars can feed about 50 people for a day. That's worth it.

Omar - Before. When Omar arrived at malnourishment center in El Salvador, he was eight years old and incredibly fragile, weighing only 19 pounds.

Omar - After. After eating Feed My Starving Children food for one and a half months, he weighed 33 pounds. At two months, he weighed an astounding 40 pounds. Omar represents a life saved.

Malawi, Africa

Malawi, Africa

DO IT ANYWAY

2008-12-02T11:25:00.001-06:00

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

--Mother Teresa

A long time coming

2008-12-01T19:50:00.002-06:00

It has been a week since my last post and for that I apologize. This last week has been a very busy one for me and I will do what I can to make up for past posts. Between work, the holiday season, and spending time with new friends have all lead to my time as being limited. It will look as if I have posted everyday for the last week but that obviously is not the case. Just come back and look through for new posts.

Men of Righteousness

2008-11-29T10:24:00.002-06:00

"Here, then, is the real problem of our negligence. We fail in our duty to study God's Word not so much because it is difficult to understand, not so much because it is dull and boring, but because it is work. Our problem is not a lack of intelligence or a lack of passion. Our problem is that we are lazy."

--R. C. Sproul

I have to admit. I falter when it comes to reading my bible daily for the reason R. C. Sproul states above. He's right it is work and sometimes I don't like having to work when it is much easier to be lazy.

Luckily for me, I have a friend who's now holding me accountable for my lack of bible reading. I mentioned him before in the previous "Men of Righteousness" post. Just about everyday he asks, "Did you read today?" I think it is a good thing to have someone in your life hold you accountable to areas that you happen to be weak in.

Depending on my answer he would say, "How did it make you feel after reading it?" Often times my answer was, "No, not today." Things tended to happen like work and trying to hang out with new people I've met. After giving my excuses Colin then says to me something along the lines of, "You have plenty of time to hang out with your friend. Just remember it's important for you to read your bible." He always seems to give me subtle conviction, which I need.

I have to admit, during the times the question came of weather or not I've read my bible, I wanted to lie and say, "Yes, I have." However, my personal convictions got the best of me and I couldn't tell the untruth. A long time ago I decided to be as honest and upfront with people as I can. I find that relationships tend to grow exponentially when honesty is at the forefront of them.

I believe it important for us men to be as honest as we possible can with others in helping in our spirit walk. So I challenge you today in being open and honest with people you know and those you meet. You never know how you will feel afterwards.

What the heck?!?

2008-11-28T13:21:00.000-06:00

Okay so the other day I was getting ready for work doing my usual grooming. Pre-shaving, shaving, washing my face, and brushing my hair. You know the usual. After I finished washing my face I noticed I had a gray hair!

Not on my head. Well, I do but that's not where I found this gray hair. It was in my nose!!! Why in the heck do I have a gray hair in my nose?!?! That's just ridiculous! I know TMI, right? But I just had to share.

When You Look At Me

2008-11-27T12:07:00.000-06:00

I think it is good to reflect on what happened in your pass to remember hard times while celebrating good. Most of my past poems were written when I was in dire restraint. Looking back reminds me of the blessings God's given me in my life today.

When You Look At Me

When you look at me
What do you see?
Do you see me or who I perceive to be?
When you look at me
Am I just another body that's walking by?
Or am I someone?
When you look at me
Do you see my outside appearance only?
Do you see my smiles and my joy?
When you look at me
Can you tell that I'm hurting inside?
That I'm struggling with the pressures
of everyday life...
That when I'm alone I cry.
When you look at me
Do you see someone who's depressed,
or someone who's always happy?
When you look at me
When you ask me "How are you?" and
I say "I'm fine" or "Okay"
Do you believe me?
When you look at me... please...
Tell me what do you see?
3-9-00

By: Keyton Kyles

Today's Smile

2008-11-26T11:28:00.001-06:00

There’s nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we’re flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.

--Andy Rooney

Women of Virtue

2008-11-25T22:18:00.003-06:00

"I'm not suggesting that we have the power to heal physical conditions with our human fingers. But I do believe there's a healing of the spirit that takes place when we touch others. There's a comfort that can't be found anywhere else but in a touch or a hug. Somehow, God's love and power is shared with others through the simplicity of our physical touch.

--Amy Nappa

When last I left you in my series, "Women of Virtue" I told you about a past relationship I had with Lindi. This is what happened next...

After heading home and waiting for her to call me or whatever she was going to do, my heart felt as if it were beating six times its normal speed. She did return to her apartment to find my oh so eloquent gift sitting at her front door.

She describe the scene as this, "So I get home from dinner with Lesley, (her then roommate) and I find the flower and card. I opened, read it, and almost died!" Now a couple months before this I had asked Lindi to go to the 2005 Chi Alpha Christmas party with me.

She said yes of course, but unbeknownst to me anxiety filled her every being because of the previous year's Christmas party she attended with someone. She said she threw up either on or in front of her date because she was so nervous and worried.

After our date that night, I looked for her only to find her on the phone outside. I would later discover that she was talking to her mom telling her how well the night had gone. She hadn't up chucked! LOL! I took that as a compliment when she told me.

She told me that the night she found the rose and the card. She said she did that when things made her uneasy, or nervous. She came to my house and we had the infamous D.T.R. (defining the relationship) talk. She went on to tell me the reasons she wasn't ready for a relationship and why she believed we shouldn't have one.

Feeling embarrassed, hurt and totally exposed I had no choice at the time but to agree with her. I said lying through my teeth, "Oh yeah, I was thinking the same thing. After thinking about it I don't think we should date."

Oye! She then went on, "But I want us to still be friends! It would kill me if we weren't friends. I don't want this to change that."

It was too late for that because it already had. For months I fought my feelings for her, trying to respect her decision. Although at times it seemed like we were dating.

Over a year later the feelings were still there and I decided to try again...

I am more than grateful for all the virtuous women in my life. I have a friend whom I believe to be an amazing mother, a great wife, and an terrific friend. Renee is always looking after my heart.

Proverbs 31: 30-31 says this, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Women you are absolutely amazing. Continue to look to the heart of God for guidance and you will find all things are a little easier.

Today's Smile

2008-11-24T22:37:00.000-06:00

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?

You'll know tonight. he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled The meaning of dreams.

Men of Righteousness: Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise

2008-11-23T15:29:00.000-06:00

"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

--Benjamin Franklin

This saying rings true in more ways than one. Now, granted, if there is a correlation between good sleeping habits and enjoying the good life then I guess I've missed my mark. I believe all men can see concern in Benjamin Franklin's remarks.

We strive to be healthy because we want to live long enough to see our childrens', children grow up. We would like to have accumulated some type of wealth so that we can retire grumpy old men with a solid financial backing. We want to be wise, so we can teach our children the ways we believe they should go and the one God we want them to follow.

Today's Christian man can feel trapped by the pressures that this society has put on us to be that "perfect" husband, father, teacher, preacher... man.

David says in Psalm 30:6-7 that "when I felt secure, I said, 'I will never be shaken.' O LORD, when you favored me you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed."

I have often felt like David here. When I know that God is with me I am secure and I hold fast to my convictions, and when i don't I falter. I want to continue to have the wisdom to know that my God is always with me and will never leave my side.

Men of Righteousness

2008-11-22T22:40:00.004-06:00

"Men are God's method. The church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men. What the church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men who the Holy Spirit can use - men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy Spirit does not come on machinery but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men - men of prayer."

--Edward McKendree (E. M.) Bounds

It's true. God is looking for better men. This week will mark month seven for me. Seven months living in the fair city of Chicago. About a month ago I met a man by the name of Colin. This guy reminds me a lot of a couple friends back home. Four friends to be specific. He encompasses a bit of each of their qualities.

He has a heart for people, a passion to see God's work done, an ability to see a need and take actions to getting it done, and a desire to see lives changes if even for a moment.

I invited him over to the house for breakfast this morning, and I made omelets and biscuits. Here is a brief description of Colin: he's a bit taller than I am, but who isn't? (5'8ish) He has short brown hair, he sometimes where's glasses, and always has his backpack with him. He's a shorter version of one of my best friends Zach Kissinger kinda.

We chatted in the kitchen as I prepared breakfast, talking about ministry and the revelation he had had a couple nights before. We soon sat down with Bryan and Amy and enjoyed our respective omelets and biscuits. Afterward, Colin wanted to go to a coffee shop to talk and have hot chocolate. I was more than happy to oblige.

We soon left and went in search of a coffee shop suggested by Bryan and Amy. When we found it we parked. He parked closer to our destination and I, on the other hand, had to park farther down due to the number of people out downtown. As I got out of my car, I looked down where Colin had originally parked and noticed him talking to a man.

The man was in his mid to late 50's, of African American decent, about 220-240 pounds not fat but rather burly man, with ragged clothes, and seemingly not well kept. As I approach them I got a closer look at the gentlemen, I noticed that most of his teeth were missing or disastrously on their way. I look at his tattered clothes, his homely appearance and immediately felt the need to recoil.

Colin notices me coming and he has a smile on his face and introduces me to the man and tells me that he's going to buy him a meal. Here I am in my extremely nice $100 wool coat and leather gloves, my car I was so blessed to receive, and the nice house I'm so lucky to live in; here I am thinking less of a man because of his initial appearance.

I felt ashamed.

As we three walked the streets to the deli, Colin and the older man continued a conversation which they had begun before I got to them. They were talking about churches in the area and the like. He asked where we went to church, we told him. When we arrived at the deli he ordered his sandwich, looked at us with a smile and said something along the lines of, "Thank you. It's good to have met some good Christian guys like you. I really do appreciate this."

He turned out to be a very nice man, whom obviously had fallen on some very tough times. Colin paid for his meal and we left the man awaiting his lunch. He smiled, waved and said "thank you" again. As we began walking to our destination Colin, very humbly, began praying for him.

During this moment I saw a true man of righteousness right before my eyes. How many of us can honestly say that we would have done that? Would I? I would like to think that I would but my first reaction proved otherwise.

As we were in the coffee shop having our hot chocolate and hot tea, I looked out the window and notice the man walking down the strip. Eating his sandwich, looking a bit better, feeling a bit blessed.

Today's Smile

2008-11-21T12:50:00.000-06:00

"'No man is an island,' said poet John Donne. I believe every man is an island, but there are no limits to the bridges or harbors one can build."

--Roy Cook

Women of Virtue

2008-11-20T15:07:00.004-06:00

"Everyone wants to change, but change demands desire and discipline before it becomes delightful. There is always the agony of choice before the promise of change."

--Larry Lea

I've always like that quote. This post is probably going to be my most personal to date. You may stop and wonder, "But it's a post on 'Women of Virtue'. How can that be personal?" Sit back, relax, kick of your shoes and stay for a while.

I had a very complicated relationship with one of the most virtuous women that I've ever known. Her name, Lindi. (Lindi if you are reading this and getting embarrassed, I'm sorry.) We meet under very unusual circumstances which lead to us becoming very good friends. Deeper feelings escalated from there.

A year after our meeting, I'd fallen for her, which was a huge deal for me. Before Lindi I had made a covenant with God that I would not pursue a relationship unless I unequivocally believed I'd found my soul mate. After the nerves had past, I made up my mind to ask her to date me. I asked the only way I knew how. I went to Wal-Mart, bought a single pink rose, and a card.

Wrote my thoughts about starting a relationship and went to take them to her. If you know me, you know that it is sometimes hard for me to express what I'm feeling about certain things in my life. (Writing them down is much easier.) You also know that some things I express freely and willingly. Starting a relationship is number one on the list of things that are hard! I had attempted to be in a relationship only twice up until this point.

When I got to her apartment, my hands began to shake, I felt weak in the knees and my body all of a sudden became hot. I thought I was going to die! I walked up to the door, extended my hand only to retract it immediately. I thought "maybe this isn't such a good idea." So I turned and headed back to my car. I stopped again and turned back, this time determined to go through with it.

Heart beating, knees shaking I extended my hand once more and wrung the door bell.

I waited...

And waited...

It felt has though I was out there for hours waiting on someone to answer the door.

No one came.

A huge sigh of relief overwhelmed me! I was so thankful that she wasn't home. So I left the rose and the card by the door, and ran for dear life back to my car. Whew!! That was done. So now the really hard part came. I waited for her to find them when she returned home. What came next, even I wasn't prepared for...

Women, you hold a great power over us men. You can captivate us with one glance. Have us bending over backwards for you. We even find ourselves doing things we never thought we would. Continue to seek after the Father's heart and follow what his voice whispers to you.

Today's Smile

2008-11-18T22:06:00.002-06:00

Here is actually a joke that was sent to me today and I thought I'd share it with you.

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?

Brother 2: He's Dead

Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days. You could of broke me to the news easier. You could of told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left you could of told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the airport you could of told me, The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.

Brother 2: I'm sorry...you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.

Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?

Brother 2: She's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.

Today's Smile

2008-11-16T20:43:00.000-06:00

A friend was stricken with infantile paralysis in her youth. Someone sympathizing with her said, “Affliction does so color life.” “Yes,” she said quietly, “and I propose to choose the color.”

--Harry Fosdick

I'm Still Here

2008-11-15T17:14:00.000-06:00

It is not my will to have lived a life
full of sorrow and pain.
Neither is it my will to have lived a life
full of happiness and joy.
I only can live my life to the best ability
that I can see for myself, and for those
around me.
It is God who I must put my trust in
and He alone save me from this world.
He is my strength, my life, and redeemer.
When I was alone and lonely, He was there.
When I was down and out, He was there.
I am not only grateful for that, but I am
rejoicing in His goodness.
Let it be known to the world that the
Lord is God. Things tend to happen in our lives
Stress comes in, and sometimes
we let it get the best of us.
I have faced countless obstacles in my life,
but thank God I'm still here.

--Keyton Kyles
1-12-00

Women of Virtue

2008-11-13T20:52:00.003-06:00

"We are women, and my plea is... Let me be a woman, holy through and through, asking for nothing but what God wants to give me, receiving with both hands and with all my heart whatever that is."

--Elisabeth Elliot

Today I'm starting a new series called Women of Virtue. Being as I have a lot of female readers I thought it only appropriate that I cater to them as well.

I think women are absolutely amazing. Godly women simply blow my mind even more. I visited a few friends months ago and had a great opportunity to see one particular friend being a mother. Now if you were to ask her how she does what she's done with her daughter, she'd bashfully say, "I haven't done anything. In fact, I don't know what I'm doing." She has simply the most beautiful little girl in the world.

She is respectful, sweet, smart, and too cute for her own good. As my friend "the mother" stays home and is the house wife, the dad goes off to work like so many common house holds today. She is with her little girl everyday, teaching, nurturing, loving, and meeting her needs daily.

For a few months now she's been learning to potty train. She brought me this book to read to her. The name of it escapes me but it had to do with being potty trained. In the book the little girl has an accident before she can get to the potty and her mother consoles her saying, "It's okay. Accidents happen sometime." The dad was off working the day I was visiting, so we decided to go out for lunch and shop. The little girl wanted to wear her big girl panties out, while hesitant the mother agreed. We went all over town and back home without an accident happening.

I was quite impressed, and so was the mother. When we returned home my friend went to change and I stayed an played with the baby. She turns to me and says, "I have to potty." Now being a man with no kids I kinda freak out. I reply, "Okay!" And I dashed to the bathroom door to open it for her. She she then runs into the bathroom and a sigh of relief comes over me. Crises averted.

Or so I thought.

She emerges from the bathroom and says, "Mommy! I had an accident." The innocence in her voice simply broke my heart. Her mom says, "It's okay baby." To which she reply's, "Are you upset with me mommy?" She took her into her arms and said, "No sweetheart, I'm not upset." I'm more than grateful for women. You can do what we men cannot. Offer a child the love only a mother can give.

To witness this tender moment between a mother and her daughter was simply amazing to me. When we make mistakes as we always do, our heavenly Father is there to console us as well. He wants to wrap us up in His arms and say, "It's okay. I love you. You are forgiven." Women, stand up today and be virtuous! A song that I always liked that's about women is called, "I'm a woman" and it rings true in every way. Here are the lyrics.

I'm A Woman lyrics

Well I can wash out forty four pairs of socks
And have 'em on the line.
You know I can starch and iron two dozen shirts
'fore you can count from one to nine.
I can slip up a great big dip up of lard
From a drippings can.
Throw it in the skillet, do my shopping,
And be back before it melts in the pan.

'Cause I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.
Let me tell ya again.
I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.

Well I can rub and scrub
'til this house shines just like a dime.
Feed the baby, grease the car,
Powder my nose at the same time.
You know I can get all dressed up,
Go out swinging with the M-A-N,
Jump in bed at five, sleep 'til 6,
And start all over again.

'Cause I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.
Let me tell ya again.
I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.

Well now if you come to me sick,
You know that I'm gonna make you well.
And if you come to me all hexed up,
You know I'm gonna break the spell.
And if you come to me hungry,
You know I'll feed ya full of my grits.
And if it's loving you want,
I can kiss you and give you the shivering fits.

'Cause I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.
I'll say it again.
I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.

Well, I got a twenty dollar gold fee
That says there's nothing that I can't do.
Well, I can make a dress out of feeding sacks,
And I can make a man out Of you.

'Cause I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.
I'll say it again.
I'm a woman...
W-O-M-A-N.

I'm a woman.
I'm a woman.
I'm a woman.
Yeah, I'm a woman.

Respect me now, Love me later

2008-11-12T23:27:00.006-06:00

"So the king sent a third captain with his fifty men. This third captain went up and fell on his knees before Elijah. "Man of God," he begged, "please have respect for my life and the lives of these fifty men, your servants!"

--2 Kings 1:13

I recently met a guy new to our Small Group who told me that he would rather first have respect from people than love. We spent the day together yesterday and I found him to be very insightful and forthcoming in character. Anyway, the reason this conversation came into play was because he asked what I thought the three main points a ministry should have. One of those points I said was love.

I believe that as Christians we are required to love the loveless without precondition. To show them that we accept them as they are as Christ does. I believe that if you do not feel like people care than what's the point of hearing what they have to say?

Love is mentioned over 400 times in the Bible so I would say that God wanted to make sure we knew the importance of it. However, he said that he would rather be respected before he was loved. For most men, saying that they love is a very hard thing to do. It costs too much.

As I thought about his reasoning for wanting to feel respected I understood why he would say that. I think it was because it makes us feel too vulnerable and we men should never feel vulnerable. It takes away our strength in someway only because that's what we've grown up to believe.

I think with love comes respect. If you were to love someone first then it would be easier for you to respect them. We as Christians should have an agape love more than anything else. To be concerned about those who don't know Christ and the salvation of their souls. Love to me is freely given, respect is earned.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Today's Smile

2008-11-12T14:26:00.000-06:00

Did you ever stop to think and forget to start again?

--Unknown

I do this all the time!

Defining Moments

2008-11-11T22:25:00.003-06:00

"A man that does not know how to be angry does not know how to be good. Now and then a man should be shaken to the core with indignation over things evil."

--Henry Ward Beecher

If you have read my previous posts, you'd remember reading about my coworker. The one who's not saved. Well, last night after work we went out again for a drink to talk and vent. He often teases me because he thinks I've lived a sheltered life merely because I'm a Christian. The fact that I don't indulge in the worlds definition of a good time truly baffles him. We both vented about the problems and things we see at work.

Stephan feels like no one "gets him" at work and therefore he has yet to manage to like anyone there except me and another coworker. I began to tell him that maybe he needed to smile more so that people would be more receptive of his personality. He then turned to me and said, "Those people do not make me smile. I smile when I see you but that's as far as it goes." It made me smile to think that I reached a part of him that few people ever do. I'm glad that God's granted me the gift of connecting to just about anyone.

I'm grateful for the times I can just be a listening ear to someone who needs it. Sometime life gets us down and we all need a healthy outlet. That night our outlet was us venting. We all need to at times if only for a short while. It helps us feel normal again. Those moments of sharing life, love, thoughts... those moments are needed in life. Try giving your time to someone who needs it for a change and see what God does with it. You can help change your outlook on things.

Today's Smile

2008-11-10T12:06:00.001-06:00

You don't do the right thing because of the consequences. If you're wise, you do it regardless of the consequences.

-Jeannette Rankin

Today's Smile

2008-11-09T23:25:00.000-06:00

So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right.

--Kirk Douglas

Men of Rigetousness

2008-11-09T21:05:00.004-06:00

"Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace."
--Psalm 37:37

One Spring morning nine years ago I woke up and life as I'd known it was different. I was in a place I had not see for so long that I'd forgotten what it felt like to be there. I had a different mindset, the sun looked brighter, life offered possibilities that seemed limitless, I was happy and at peace.

I had almost completed my first year of college, made new friends, and was in a place I felt God called me to be. I knew things would be alright. I was at peace in knowing I was where I was supposed to be.

I've always been a believer in the fact that God has you right where you are supposed to be when you are in that place. If that place seems dark and lonely, you are supposed to be there. If that place is a haven for seemingly bad things that occur in your life, you are supposed to be there. If that place is full of love and laughter, you are supposed to be there.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." Men of God stand tall because your father in heaven says that there is nothing you can't handle with Him!

Today, I'm not at the place I'd envisioned for myself as I did nine years ago, but I know God has me here for a reason. I'm just waiting on Him and trusting He will guide me to the next place in my journey.

A Feeling of Pride

2008-11-07T12:52:00.003-06:00

I would like to first thank you all for leaving comments on my blog. It’s interesting to know what those who read it think and what’s on your mind as well. Sarah thanks for being a devoted follower of my blog. Angela thanks for becoming one of my new followers. Korey and Ben thank you for your comments and taking the time to read as well. Andrew and Amy thank you too as well, and to all of the unknown followers I thank you so much for joining me on this journey.

Yesterday brought to me a feeling of pride. After thinking about what the week had to bring and the new President elect, putting certain beliefs aside, I felt proud of our country.

The night of November 4, 2008 when Barack Obama was named the new President elect of the United States my initial reaction was just, “Congratulations.” While observing the celebratory enthusiasm of all that were in Grant Park, I only felt contentment with the new President elect. It wasn’t until after Barack Obama stepped out on the stage and gave his acceptance speech did I realize just how impressive of a man he is.

I felt peaceful with the fact he would be the new leader of the United States of America.

At that point the significance of his win didn’t quite connect with me. It wasn’t until the day after did I realize what a huge milestone it had been. After seeing news stories, post the election, of people both black and white say that they can look into their children’s eyes and not lie when they tell them, “You can be anything when you grow up; even President of the United States.”

It’s an amazing achievement to think that a kid raised in a single parent home, with not much money, achieved what the current President elect has. I can’t help but to feel a sense of pride in knowing that our country has truly overcome some of the stereotypical ideals that has held us back as a nation. It wasn’t until the National Voting Rights Act of 1965 when blacks truly had free reign to vote. Not even 50 years ago and today we have our first black President elect.

I live only 28 miles from the heart of Chicago, and am grateful to have been so close to see new change in America. I do plan on being in Washington when Barack Obama is being sworn in. I feel like our country is on the road to recovery in more ways than one. With God’s guidance we can help usher in a new era for our children. And if Jesus decides to show up before then, I’ll be waiting.

Rethinking Christianity or Christian Mindsets

2008-11-06T12:54:00.004-06:00

The attitudes and reactions from today’s “Christians” in lieu of the new President elect Barack Obama. This is my dilemma.

I had a very long and interesting conversation from a non-Christian coworker of Caucasian decent and he was appalled with what he’s seen from those proclaiming to be Christian. I have been ministering to him while we work together and after work as well. Now it seems my past conversations with him about how we Christians aren’t what he once perceived us to be were all in vain.

In my attempt to connect with him on his level to dismay pre-presumptions of Christianity, had all but vanished after the announcement of the new President elect. One day while at work we were talking and he told me about how someone just tried to “convert” him.

Of course I immediately knew what he was talking about but he, at the time, didn’t know I was a Christian. He then asked me, “Are you a Christian?” I quickly responded with an affirmative, “Yes!” He looked taken aback for a second and then described his brief encounter with the elated young woman who wanted him to know Jesus.

As the day went on he asked me about my faith and why I in fact was a Christian. I told him about why I was a Christian. While telling him about my faith, he has a look of puzzlement on his face so I asked, “Did you expect me to be all crazy like the people you see on T.V. or the girl who tried to ‘convert’ you?”

He then went to say that that’s all he knew of Christianity. That turned him of to it. He never even thought about becoming a Christian because his perception of them was that they are those crazy radicals so often portrayed on T.V. He believed that Christians are arrogant, self involved and think their way is the only right way. This is what turned him off Christianity.

I was filled with both anger and sadness at the realization which today’s Christianity has had on him. I was angry because of the effect those radical Christians, so often portrayed by the media today; have on non-believers, and sadden that that is what we are seen as. I too was a bit disgusted from all the Christians saying it’s time to start praying for our country.

On the heels of a new Presidency, our country… the world in fact is in the worst shape it has been in in 80 years. We have the worst deficit ever, an ailing economy, fighting two wars over seas, the unemployment rate is at its highest in over a decade, and our ever present energy crisis. These things amount to tens of trillions of dollars, obviously not a quick fix by any standards.

My coworker and I will assuredly have more conversations about his perceptions of Christianity and Christians post the new President elect, while I myself will be examining my own Christianity or the mindsets thereof.

With all these problems and many, many more, I think we Christians can find a more civil stand on much pressing matters. Instead of complaining, ask yourself, “WWJD?” That, after all, is our motto.

Today's Smile

2008-11-05T08:40:00.001-06:00

You may get to the very top of the ladder, and then find it has not been leaning against the right wall.

--A. Raine

Why are Christians just now praying?

2008-11-04T21:54:00.004-06:00

Tonight Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States of America. As I checked my Facebook account I notice the news feed. Almost everyone of my "Christian" friends are proclaiming that they will pray for America. Why start now? If you haven't prayed for your country before, why began tonight? During this entire campaign season I have remained neutral and criticized both parties and their tactics in running for the highest office in the nation.

Tonight, during small group we had one of the most level headed talks about politics and the role religion plays in it than I've ever had before. Talking about politics is my least favorite thing but tonight was rather enjoyable. When I first learned that we would be discussing the issue, I have to admit it made me nervous simply because I don't like talking politics. However, when you have a lot of level headed adults who know that God is in control no matter what, conversations of this nature can be pleasant.

Our cell group all agreed wholly that it doesn't matter who were to be elected tonight because God's plan will unfold no matter what the outcome was. I trust in God enough to believe that He will never fail us and if you are just now praying for our country, what does that say about your faith in the God who holds all things in His hands?

I was most impressed with John McCain tonight as he gave his concession speech. I think he definitely proved he is a man of integrity. Fellow Christians, let us not stoop to the level of those who don't know Christ. Let us rise up and believe in the faith promises of God. Let not the world see us as crazy radicals who think we are the only ones who knows what's best for the country. Let us believe God will lead us through whatever the future has for us. He has not failed us yet!

What About Racism?

2008-11-03T21:07:00.007-06:00

This is a sort of continuance of the previous post. In lieu of the news that we may have the Anti-Christ as our next president, the topic of conversations turned toward racism. Today, almost all of my friends are of Caucasian decent. Now granted, the talk of racism in my presence amongst Caucasian Americans always makes me uneasy even among friends.

For reasons I will not mention, I am uncomfortable discussing the subject. When fronted with it I do everything that comes to mind to divert the subject to another area. I often times would pretend that it never came up and say something that was completely opposite or would just look down and pretend not to notice what was being said, but alas it found me nonetheless.

The father of my ex-coworker looked at me and asked blatantly, "Is there a lot of racism in Louisiana?" I then replied haphazardly to his questions with a simple, "yes." I was then asked a question that I would have never in a million years thought I'd be asked in a lifetime... well today's anyway. "Do you have places that are separate there in Louisiana?"

He was asking if African Americans had their own movie theater or place to use a public bathroom, or at least that's what I got from his question. Again, I stopped and with a puzzling expression looked around my surroundings to make sure the rapture really didn't just take place. I thought, "Has the Civil Rights Act of 1964 been revoked? Will, I be taken away and forced to pick cotton?"

No.

Whew!

Okay, I'm okay.

After that very confusing 10 seconds I answered and simply explained that Louisiana was very equal as far as that issue was concerned. I expounded on my original statement of the hidden racism that is evident, not only in Louisiana but everywhere. I then told him of a personal story of racism. It was amazing to me to see that people still thought that way of the south. His questions where not meant to be sarcastic in anyway. I saw on his face that he really did not know. It was an eye opening experience for me.

When I look at both the Republican and Democratic parties I think the race for the White House is about one thing and one thing only, which party will make history? The Democrats with the first "African American" President (which is not an accurate statement being as Barack Obama is of mixed races), or the Republicans with the first female Vice President and potential President. Whomever becomes President, I just hope that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 will not be revoked.

Barack Obama... the Anti-Christ?

2008-11-02T16:47:00.004-06:00

I have tried to steer clear of political blogging lately, however; I recently encountered a situation that calls for me to write about it. Yesterday, I was visiting an ex-coworker at his home. While there we were watching the Texas vs Texas Tech football game. In between the game came a commercial for Barack Obama's candidacy for President of the United States, the election that takes place this Tuesday.

Out of the blue my former co-worker's brother says, "I think Obama is the Anti-Christ." I try to avoid any and all unnecessary confrontations when I can especially when the subject of politics is involved. Luckily I didn't have to say what I was thinking because his dad said it for me. "That's a bold statement to make." As I sat there, I looked around. Looked at my hands, my legs, and all who were around me just to make sure the rapture didn't take place and I was just unaware of it.

I wanted to make sure the bible verse I once read was not actually taking place, just in case. "For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." --1 Thessalonians 4:16-17(Now take in mind that this guy is a professed Christian and follower of Jesus.)

After I had made sure I wasn't one of the left behind, I continued to listen to the reasoning behind his assumption that Senator Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. Mainly because of his association with the radical extremist William Ayers. Now I've meet and hung out with some pretty scathing characters in my time and some whom probably were involved in a radical movement of some kind, I don't know. Does that put me in the same category? But his statement was soon thrown by the waist side needless to say. There were other conversations that ensued which I will post at a later time. Work is calling me now. Your thoughts please.

Smile

2008-10-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

Smile

Sometimes good things come
in a very small way
Knowing all the people your
needing to sway.
Always dreaming of that
good day.
Your cries like those of a wolf.
Your moans like a dying man.
Pain so unbearable nothing can
Change the way you see things.
People so mean and cruel…
Stares that gaze unto the moon.
Tears overflowing down your dreary face.
No one likes you…
No one cares to know you
Just do one thing
Smile.

Keyton Kyles
1998

Men of Righteousness

2008-10-30T22:55:00.002-05:00

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

--James 1: 2-4

There were many times in my life where I found myself down and in the midst of some sort of trial. I can recall lying in bed, in the dark, crying so long that I cried myself to sleep. Often times I was consumed by pain and heartache. It was always a mystery to me the fact that if you are a Christian, you will be tested in your faith. That God will put you through some type of trial or tribulation.

I came to the point several times where I thought I couldn't handle anymore "tests" of my faith. My best friend Seth always reminded me that I am needed in this world. He's the type of person I only wish I could be more like. Yes, he has his faults but who doesn't. He is a man of righteousness if the term ever fit anyone. He's never been slow to extend out his hand if you had fallen. He never asks questions that make you feel belittled in anyway. He's always been a giving and loving man.

Something happened to him today that came to quite a shock to everyone who knows him and the kind of person he is. Someone set his car on fire. You can find pictures on his Myspace. For someone to cause such grief to my friend stirs an unbelievable amount of anger in me. I can not fathom the heartless person who did this. Be it a joke gone terribly wrong, or it done strictly out of malice; I want whoever did it to pay.

Please pray for my friend Seth and his wife Tara as they deal with this senseless act of vandalism. Seth is a man whom I owe a lot and I would like you all to keep him in your prayers and send him some words of encouragement. Thanks a lot.

Today's Smile

2008-10-29T23:25:00.001-05:00

The story is told of a man who got a permit to open the first tavern in a small town. The members of a local church were strongly opposed to the bar, so they began to pray that God would intervene. A few days before the tavern was scheduled to open, lightning hit the structure and it burned to the ground. The people of the church were surprised but pleased- until they received notice that the would-be tavern owner was suing them. He contended that their prayers were responsible for the burning of the building. They denied the charge. At the conclusion of the preliminary hearing, the judge wryly remarked, "At this point I don't know what my decision will be, but it seems that the tavern owner believes in the power of prayer and these church people don't."

--Unknown

Today's Smile

2008-10-27T19:46:00.001-05:00

If a person is standing with one foot in a bucket of ice and another foot in a fire, you could say- at least statistically- that on the average the person is very comfortable.

--Bits & Pieces

Sit Down And Weep

2008-10-26T21:56:00.004-05:00

I get these Sermon's every week through e-mail and found this to be of interest. It's written by author Eric Elder of http://www.theranch.org/.

Where do you start to rebuild something in your life that’s been broken? Whether you’re trying to rebuild your marriage, family, city, nation, house, career, business, or whatever’s important to you that’s been lost, where can you possibly begin to undertake such an overwhelming project?

The best place to start is where Nehemiah started: he sat down and wept.

When Nehemiah heard that the people in Jerusalem were in distress and the wall around their city was in ruins, the very first thing he did-- before he prayed, before he ran back home, before he lifted even one stone to try to fix it, he sat down and wept.

Here’s how Nehemiah says it, as recorded in the Bible:

“In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

“They said to me, ‘Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.’

“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept” (Nehemiah 1:1b-4a).

When something has fallen apart in your life, the best first step you can take toward rebuilding it is to sit down and weep over what’s been lost, to let the depth of the destruction sink deep into your soul. Without a full understanding of what’s been lost, it’s very hard to take the steps you need to take to reclaim it. But once you grasp what’s happened, along with all of its implications, God can use that understanding to help you take the rest of the steps you need to reverse what’s been done.

I remember when I first heard about a couple who was going through adultery. I was stunned, shocked and numbed by what I’d heard. I could sit with them and listen, I could pray for them, but I felt helpless about what else I could really do. It wasn’t until several days later that the full weight of what I had heard finally hit me, along with all of its implications. When it did, I just sat down and wept, and wept and wept.

There was something about the tears that brought me to the place where I knew I had to do something to intervene in this situation. I knew that no matter what it took, I needed to step in and do what I could to help repair what had been broken. While people usually see tears as a sign of weakness, it was--ironically--the tears that gave me the strength to do what I needed to do.

What is it in your life that’s been broken that you desperately wish could be repaired? What is it that you’ve lost that you wish you could restore, and how badly do you want to see it restored?

The best first step you could possibly take is to sit down and weep.

The rebuilding project I’m working on right now is the restoration of the farmhouse where I grew up. Our ministry bought it a few years ago to turn it into a personal retreat for people who want to renew their relationship with God. But the project didn’t start with tearing down walls, or sanding the floors, or even signing the papers at the bank. It started one day when I visited the farm after it had fallen into disrepair.

I just knelt down on the grass and wept, praying that God would someday restore it, remembering these words from 2 Chronicles:

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14).

It turned out to be the best first step I could take. And, if you follow Nehemiah’s example, it could be the best first step you can take as well: to simply sit down and weep.

Today's Smile

2008-10-25T23:31:00.001-05:00

"I once had a man call at the last minute on a weekend. He wanted a private dining room. I explained that it was high season and we had nothing. 'Well, if the queen of England were coming, would you have a room for her to dine?' 'Yes, of course,' I said. The caller replied, 'Well, she's not coming, so I'll take her room.'"

--Restaurateur Billy Stolz

Voting Ballots

2008-10-24T13:55:00.004-05:00

I would consider myself to be a fairly smart person. When I had my IQ tested, I tested at 126. According to the IQ rating scale I would be considered "Highly intelligent."

I recently received my absentee ballot for the 2008 Presidential Election and among the ballots was the "Proposed Constitutional Amendments" ballot. Every Presidential election I dread having to read and decipher the legalese that the new proposed amendments bring. I hope I'm not violating some law by posting this but I think you should be prepared for what you are going to be voting for come this November.

In the Louisiana election one of the new amendments states, "To increase the maximum amount of the severance tax imposed and collected by the state on natural resources, other than sulphur, lignite, and timber, which is remitted to the parish governing authority where the severance occurs from eight hundred fifty thousand dollars to one million eight hundred fifty thousand dollars, for Fiscal Year 2009-2010 and to two million eight hundred fifty thousand dollars to Fiscal Year 2010-2011 and thereafter; to require at least fifty percent of the excess severance tax remitted to a parish because of this constitutional amendment to be used within the parish only in the same manner and for the same purposes as money received by the parish from the Parish Transportation Fund; to increase the amount of such severance taxes collected by the state, not to exceed ten million dollars each fiscal year, which is to be deposited to a special fund created in the state treasury to be known as the Atchafalaya Basin Conservation Fund, in order to fund projects contained in the state of federal Basin master plans or an annual Basin plan developed by the Atchafalaya Basin Research and Promotion Board and other such advisory or approval boards, all of which the legislature must create and provide for by law within the Atchafalaya Basin program, or to provide match for the Atchafalaya Basin Floodway System, Louisiana Project, all as the secretary of Department of Natural Resources shall direct, provided that eighty-five percent must be used for water management, water quality, or access projects, and the remaining fifteen percent may be used to complete ongoing projects and for projects that are in accordance with the mission statement of the state master plan, further provided, however, that up to five percent of the money allocated in any one fiscal year may be used for the operational costs of the program or the department; all to become effective July 1, 2009. (Amends Article VII, Section 4(D)(3); Adds Article VII, Section 4(D)(4) and (5))"

Now with my 126 IQ, this was a mind-numbing agony. I had to read this twice to figure out what it said and a third to figure my stance on the issue. The other seven new proposed amendments read pretty much the same. In one big long sentence. Not as long as the one above but just as painful to read.

For those who have not taken law, studied the governmental jargon, or who's IQ is in the normal range, how in the world are they supposed to know what these amendments are for? Years ago I asked someone, who will remain nameless; what they thought of the different amendments during the Presidential election. They told me, "I just go down and vote "no" because I don't understand any of that."

How many times do Americans go into the voting booth, read the proposed amendments, or legislature and vote No or Against? This is a sad and too common occurrence in our society today. Maybe they should also start putting the propositions in layman's terms as well on the ballots.

Today's Smile

2008-10-23T16:21:00.001-05:00

Happiness is the experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

--Promises Message by Dove

Today's Smile

2008-10-22T18:24:00.003-05:00

"The Internal Revenue Service received the following letter from a conscience-stricken taxpayer: 'Dear Sir: My conscience bothered me. Here is $175, which I owe in back taxes.' There was a P.S. at the bottom that read: 'If my conscience still bothers me, I'll send in the rest.'"

--Unknown

Men of Righteousness

2008-10-21T17:59:00.005-05:00

"I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

--Psalm 40:8

I often remember times in my past when things seemed bleak and hopeless. When I was a freshman in college circumstances in my life took turns even I couldn't have anticipated. I used to sit in the Quad by the "Lady of the Mist" at Louisiana Tech University, and read devotionals and the like.

There was something that has never left my memory as I sat in the Quad one spring day. That something involved an ROTC cadet who happened to catch my eye as she passed by. At first glance there was nothing special about her, but when I looked a bit longer I noticed she was in full Army attire with one exception... a red purse. This image struck me with a profoundness I had not before realized.

The fact that she, on that sunny spring day, was dressed for ROTC yet had her purse spoke volumes to my soul. This realization was no matter what a woman wears, she's still a girl under it all.

Same can be said of a man. We pride ourselves on being the image of strength and security. The bread winners of our households. But we forget so many times who the true "bread winner" is. We tend to hide behind our respective masks hoping, praying that no one will notice what's underneath it all.

This week, let us show the world what true men of righteousness looks like.

Today's Smile

2008-10-20T13:28:00.001-05:00

People who complain that they don't get all they deserve should congratulate themselves.

--Unknown

Men of Righteousness

2008-10-19T12:21:00.009-05:00

Today on Life Untold, I'm kicking of a new series called Men of Righteousness. The first post starts now.

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
--Psalm 37:4

Often times I stop and ask myself the question, "God, why am I still in this place?" Not merely where I physically am at that moment, but where I am spiritually, mentally, and emotionally as well.

Recently while taking the dog for her regular walk, I stopped and admired the season changes from summer to fall. I noticed that the new foliage of spring and summer on the trees, plants and flowers had begun to change color and fall off.

During this transition there was one tree that stood out. It's colors magnificent. It seemed as though all the leaves where this brilliant bright yellow that made it stand out from all the others. I wanted to capture this moment, although, I didn't have my camera.

I decided to wait for the next day to take some pictures of the tree because it was getting late and night was quickly coming. The next day I got my camera and went to shoot the tree only to find that all the leaves had fallen off.

I was disheartened to see this had happened but quick to realize how God can change circumstances overnight. If we are yearning for something and see an opportunity for change, we only need to ask it of Him and He will answer us. That day my desire was only to capture God's wonder by way of a tree. I have yet to see a tree as beautifully colored, but I am reminded often of how great God is everyday I step outside.

Let us worship God and try not to worry about tomorrow. Because He is our tomorrow, today.

Today's Smile

2008-10-18T23:46:00.001-05:00

I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy, that I was culturally deprived. Then they told me deprived was a bad image, that I was underprivileged. Then they told me underprivileged was overused, that I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime, but I do have a great vocabulary.

--Jules Feiffer

Who do they think they're fooling?

2008-10-16T19:58:00.007-05:00

When I was a kid, I used to by a Little Debbie brownie almost every morning before I went to school. I ate those often times instead of actually eating breakfast at school. Why? Because I'm crazy. Oh, and I love brownies! I was never a big fan of all the walnuts or of any nuts for that matter. I'm still not. I always preferred enjoying the brownie in all of its chocolaty goodness, without any distractions from any other foreign objects.

I can remember actually scrapping off some of those walnuts before I indulged myself in what was almost perfection. Back in 1996 the economy was good, things were cheaper, life wasn't easy but it wasn't bad either. Twelve years later everything changed. The economy is in the mist of a the worst recession in years, everything has more than doubled in cost, and life... well is life.

With the increase in the Little Debbie brownie, came a decrease in the amount of walnuts. I noticed this change a while ago. But with all companies from Hershey's putting less cocoa in some of their products, to the almost non-existent walnut on the Little Debbie brownie. I am not complaining about the little walnuts that are now on the brownie because as I said before, I'm not a nut fan. I think they just get in the way of enjoying what they are in. In particularly, chocolate.

I'm merely trying to prove a point. The products we use to enjoy are not the same. Now, everything that's made has some sort of artificial something or other in them. But anyway, I thought this post would be more interesting than me discussing last nights Presidential Debates.

Eli Stone, God's Fiduciary

2008-10-15T17:02:00.006-05:00

“God told Moses that he’d send a prophet to every generation--why not a lawyer?”
--Dr. Chen "Eli Stone"

As I said, there are very few shows on air today that are worthy of being called “good shows.” I am a huge fan and proponent of Eli Stone and believe it’s a show worth watching at least once. I believe that one time is all you will need to become a fan. It’s a show about hope and faith.

The season premier was last night and was one of the best season premiers I’ve seen. The premier arose many different emotions within me. These emotions ranged from overjoyed, to infuriated, to an overwhelming sense of hope. You can watch the full episode HERE. It starts with Eli sitting in his therapist’s office, played by Sigourney Weaver, recalling a vision he had six months after the removal of his aneurysm.

The truth was he hadn’t. Eli was trying to make a point that his life was back to normal. No evidence of the divine. No visions of the future. No visions of the past. Just normal. The episode shifted toward Eli’s brother, Nathan (Matt Letscher). While going to check on a patient, Nathan had a vision of an accident at a bank. At this point, I was slightly annoyed by the fact that he was having a vision. Only because the show is about Eli Stone not Nathan Stone.

His vision did, however, come to past. An unfortunate side effect to the vision coming to past was that, Jordan Wethersby happened to be in the bank when the accident occurred. The episode continued with Eli beseeching the rescue crew to look in a different area of the bank, where he believed Jordan to be during the accident. He had to get a court order to make the crew dig in a different area. Jordan’s daughter and Eli’s ex-fiancée, Taylor, inexplicably shunned him and stood against him in court.

After all the mysterious things which have come to past since Eli’s aneurysm, you would think that everyone in Eli’s life would have enough faith to believe in him. This distressed me greatly. Upon the initial diagnosis of his illness, Taylor broke up with him because she couldn’t handle it. But I digress.

Eli’s therapist turned out not to be his actual therapist. He had imagined the entire three month session, but not really. The therapist was God’s fiduciary. A trustee from God sent to open Eli’s eyes that his life was meant for more than normality.

This could be said for our lives as well. We are meant for more than just a normal existence. Let us all try to be like Eli and believe in the unbelievable. Trust in what we can’t see and the things that we do. Eli Stone, God’s fiduciary. So are we!

Today's Smile

2008-10-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.

--Ashleigh Brilliant

I'm not a good writer?

2008-10-13T12:41:00.009-05:00

This afternoon approximately 12:30p.m. I was told that I wasn’t a good writer. Not in those exact words but close enough. This news came from one of the Managing Editor of Christianity Today’s CT Movies, Mark Moring. I am a movie buff as many of you know, so I decided to ask him if he had any spots for an up and coming writer and avid movie fan/critic. He then asked if I’d send him a movie critique. I said, you betcha! Not really, but I did say, “Sure. I’d be happy to.”

I sent him THIS movie critique. He then told me today that my writing was “just not up to par.” He continued, “I hate to burst your bubble… it’s (my writing) going to take a lot of time and practice.” He didn’t like the tone of the review, the critique style, nor my writing style. Now as long as I’ve been a journalist, I’ve received nothing but compliments on my writing. This is the first time someone blatantly hated my work. I’m not upset by the fact he didn’t like it. I understand not everyone will like what I have to say or write, but I am more or less discouraged in my writing capabilities than anything else.

Now granted, I have not been writing for 50 years and claim to have mastered all forms thereof, but I do believe I am not a horrible writer. He suggested that I read some of his writings and others he defines as “good writers” and model my writing after theirs.

I’m sorry, why would I want to write like someone else? For me writing is the soliloquy used to express yourself in ways you can’t in the spoken word. One writer that I do admire and I can only hope to be as great as he is is, Roger Ebert. The way he can illustrate what happens in a movie is absolutely unbelievable. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to copy his work and pass it off as my own. I want my work to be mine. My own. No one else’s.

Now, I’m going to practice writing because like anything else you have to keep doing it to become better. That’s the whole purpose for my site as I stated at the very beginning, to awaken the muse within me. I know my writings have lacked luster lately but I am trying to regain my confidence in the area which I make a career out of. Now I want to go back over my book and rewrite it. Tell me your thoughts on the matter.

Today's Smile

2008-10-13T10:36:00.001-05:00

A man was placed in a monastery and was given the opportunity to say only two words every five years. After the first five passed, he was called in and allowed to say two words. He said, "Food bad." Five years later, his two words were "Bed hard." After a total of fifteen years, he said, "I quit." The bishops responded, "We're not surprised. You've been complaining ever since you got here."

--Unknown

Today's Smile

2008-10-12T21:43:00.001-05:00

Believe it, you are a real find, a joy in someone’s heart. You are a jewel, unique and priceless. God don’t make no junk!

--Herbert Barks

Lawyer By Day, Prophet For Life.

2008-10-11T20:17:00.010-05:00

"Eli Stone reminds us of the best parts of ourselves. He applies his considerable talents to underdogs and individuals, instead of conglomerates and CEO's. I believe that every firm, everyone needs an Eli Stone."

--Jordan Wethersby "Eli Stone"

Last month I asked a simple question, "Where'd they all go?" The question was aimed at all the great T.V. shows. You can find my post here. There used to be a lot of shows in years past that promised wholesome programing along with great messages of moral excellence. Today there are so few shows like that you could count them on one hand. This generation is all about sex, money and well more sex.

But alas on that one hand you will find a show like "Eli Stone." One of the few shows that I watch on a regular basis. "Eli Stone" offers up life changing scenarios for the characters and a deeper belief in the impossible. Many of the today's programs have exasperated me to the point of no return, however, Eli offers a much needed propitiated state of adoration that the world so desperately yearns for.

Eli Stone (Jonny Lee Miller) is, of course, who the show's based around. He is a lawyer who starts experiencing visions and unbeknownst to him, acts them out. Thinking that he's losing his mind, he goes to his doctor; who's also his brother, Nathan Stone(Matt Letscher) to figure out what (if anything) is wrong with him. Eli then learns that the visions are caused by a brain aneurysm.

Before Eli's diagnosis he was a hard nosed lawyer who only took cases that brought "money" to his firm. After seeing a wise acupuncturist Dr. Chen (James Saito), Eli begins to believe that his visions are more than just visions; they are to guide him in choosing the cases he should take.

Every character is brilliantly written and acted. From Eli's tough as nails assistant Patt (Loretta Devine), to his convalescing boss Jordan Wethersby (Victor Garber). Eli tells the story that there is more to life than just doing what the world wants us to do. Life is about believing in something bigger than yourself and holding fast to that belief no matter who comes against you in the process.

Eli almost faces disbarment because of the visions he has, but he holds fast to the fact that he was chosen to help people believe again and that he is a lawyer by day, prophet for life.

Thy Will Be Done

2008-10-10T22:07:00.003-05:00

"Spread out your petition before God, and then say, 'Thy will, not mine, be done.' The sweetest lesson I have learned in God's school is to let the Lord choose for me."

--Dwight Moody

I've been pondering what I should write about now for over two hours and I had nothing. This is due mainly because I'm extremely tired and would like nothing better to do than sleep. But alas I have promised to keep you updated and I need to write for my own good. The past two weeks I've been trying to give myself to God's will. I'm not going to lie, it's been a hard challenge for me to do.

I am currently at a new job with another opportunity at my doorsteps, which would be very beneficial at this moment in my life. It's been a long and winding road for me lately. Trying to find my place in such a sapient world as this. Today has been a tiring day. Work was long and arduous, however, the day was beautiful.

I feel if I continue to write I will start going on into a incoherent babbling of randomosity which I may never recover, so I'll stop.

Today's Smile

2008-10-10T21:04:00.001-05:00

Success comes from good judgment. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

--Arthur Jones

Trusting an invisible God

2008-10-08T23:25:00.004-05:00

"When trust is perfect and there is no doubt, prayer is simply the outstretched hand ready to receive. Trust perfected is prayer perfected. Trust looks to receive the thing asked for and gets it. Trust is not a belief that God can bless or that He will bless, but that He does bless, here and now. Trust always operates in the present tense. Hope looks toward the future. Trust looks to the present. Hope expects. Trust possesses. Trust receives what prayer acquires. So, what prayer needs, at all times, is abiding and abundant trust."

--Edward McKendree (E. M.) Bounds

Yesterday during small group a discussion was lead on trust and why is it so hard for us to trust God in all matters. This was a good reminder for me of the fact that I have been very guilty of this lately. With regard of me finding a job and a place to call my own. Why don't I trust God to provide these things for me in His time?

Matthew 4:18-22 says, "As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him."

If Jesus were to call us today would we be so willing and trusting to leave everything behind and follow him? For me the answer is easy. Yes. I say this only because I have no ties to anything or anyone. I have no spouse or mate to hold me back. I have no real obligation keeping me where I am now. So I could go and not look back. However, most of us probably could not be as easily swayed.

Today if God whispered in your ear, "I need you go leave your home, your job, your life, and do my will today." Would you be willing to do that? Or would you say, "Well God, are you sure you want me to do that? Is this really God speaking to me or am I imagining it? I mean, God wouldn't want me to put my life on hold. Would He?"

Trusting a God who is invisible requires a lot of Christians today because we think way too much about it. I believe that trust is all about blind faith. You have to have faith in God and His ways in order to trust that he will lead you in the right path. Trusting takes too much from us that we are not willing to yet let go. Am I going to trust God to keep me from getting frustrated at work? Am I going to trust God to provide a wife, kids, a home? Am I going to trust God enough to let Him take over my entire life? What are you trusting God for?

Today's Smile:

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

--Unknown

Today's Smile

2008-10-07T22:10:00.002-05:00

Today's Smile comes a little late because I've had a very busy day and haven't gotten a chance to get on line. I hope you enjoy it.

A 19th-century preacher was once asked to explain the doctrine of election. He said: "Well, brethren, it is this way: The Lord is always voting for a man, and the devil is always voting against him; then the man himself votes, and that breaks the tie.

--Arthur Tonne

Freedom of Speech

2008-10-06T20:27:00.004-05:00

The First Amendment in the Bill of Rights prohibits the United States Congress from making laws "respecting an establishment of religion" or that prohibits the free exercise of religion, laws that infringe the freedom of speech and so on. So my question is, when has freedom of speech gone too far?

As Americans, we all have the right of freedom of speech. This right allows us to express ourselves without interference or constraint by the government. The Supreme Court requires the government to provide substantial justification for the interference with the right of free speech where it attempts to regulate the content of the speech.

However, the Supreme Court has also recognized that the government may prohibit some speech that may cause a breach of peace or cause violence. I'm thinking about this only because of the recent documentary that just hit theaters called Religulous. I know that Bill Maher has every right by law to make this documentary but does this cross the line of free speech, or is it skirting on the edge to slide by unscathed?

Maher was recently on the chat fest "The View" promoting his film. As a child his father raised him as Catholic while his mother was Jewish. He said that they never talked about why his mother never went to church with them until he decided to ask when he was about eight or nine. From his interview he never made it clear why he hates religion so much. He did mention, however, that as a child Catholicism was a not pertinent part of his life.

A clip showed that he wanted to prove that religions are the most deleterious threat facing mankind today. He said "religion must die for mankind to live." I haven't seen the movie only clips and his appearance on "The View." He is known for the outrageous things he has to say about everything, but has he crossed the line of trying to disprove the necessity for religion in peoples' lives? I think because he's trying so hard to show people why religion is unnecessary, there must be something about it after all. That's just me. What are your thoughts?

Today's Smile

2008-10-06T13:07:00.004-05:00

Amidst a still troubled economy, here is today's smile. I hope your day is bright!

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. She said, "You know if Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" To which Kevin then turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

--Author unknown.

Today's Smile

2008-10-05T22:58:00.004-05:00

I think we all can use a smile every now and again, so I'm kicking of this new blog series called, "Today's Smile." There won't be a smile everyday but check back to see if there is. It just may make your day a bit brighter. Here is today's smile.

Two hikers who wake up from their campsite see a grizzly bear approaching. One camper dives into his knapsack and pulls out a pair of sneakers. As he takes off his boots to put on the sneakers, his companion says, "You know you can't outrun a grizzly." His companion replies, "I know. I just have to outrun you."

--Ronald Reagan

Tempted by Politics

2008-10-04T22:48:00.001-05:00

I read this on Christianity Today's website and thought it was of interest. Your thoughts are welcomed.

Why many pastors want to, but shouldn't, endorse candidates.
Mark Galli

Every pastor in America is just dying to tell their congregations how to vote. It happens every election season, but particularly during the presidential quadrennial. This yearning to lobby one's flock doesn't surprise me — it tempted me when I was a pastor.

What did surprise me was a report that said 31 pastors in 22 states this past Sunday endorsed a candidate from their pulpits. The nationwide event was orchestrated by the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund, (ADF), which thinks churches should be able to take partisan stands without losing their tax exemption. The legal group hopes the sermons will prompt IRS reaction. In turn, the ADF will take the IRS to court and argue for a ruling that will abolish restrictions on church political speech.

Frankly, I hope they lose. I'm no legal scholar, and I have no idea whether current IRS policies deny churches' constitutionally guaranteed free speech. Who knows, they may just win. But good Lord, deliver us if they do.

This yearning to tell congregations how to vote arises out of a godly desire to teach how to live daily the Christian life, in political season and out. Politics is nothing if it is not about daily life. Whether it's the place of creationism in the local high-school curriculum, or how many immigrants to welcome into the country, or how much to spend on defense versus welfare — all political decisions affect our Day-Timers or our Form 1040. They influence things like how much our investments earn or what values our children imbibe in the public square.

Pastors are driven by a righteous desire to shape not just church members but also their communities according to biblical standards of justice and mercy.

But these same pastors often hanker to be relevant — and this is nothing but the Devil's third temptation of Jesus. When chatter about candidates and platforms fills the airwaves, when everyone pontificates about the last debate or recent TV appearance, you can seem out of touch with reality or too timid if you don't join in the national conversation and take a public stand. Who wants to go to a church led by an irrelevant coward?

These pastors — and congregations that are egging them on — don't realize that in endorsing political candidates or platforms, they are selling their inheritance for a mess of pottage. Two examples should suffice: the late Jerry Falwell, and the current Jim Wallis — both Christian ministers. When all is said and done, what are they both known for? Falwell was considered a champion of political what most call "the Religious Right", and Wallis is usually identified as a "[politically] liberal evangelical."

Both have said — sincerely, I believe — that their highest priority is serving and proclaiming the truth of Jesus Christ. But given the insidious nature of politics (it aims to co-opt everything and everyone into its service), ministers' Christian identity gets swallowed up by their political views. They were ordained to be heralds of the Great King. Instead they end up, like it or not, being seen as marketers for a partisan agenda. What a waste of an ordination.

Do you want to be politically relevant? Then gather your people together each Sunday and lead them to worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Remind your people through hymns and prayers and proclamation that there is a Leader who can do something more significant for the nation than protecting their investments or providing cheap health insurance.

Gather your people not as Christian Democrats or Christian Republicans, not as members of the religious Left or Religious Right, not as evangelicals for the environment or fundamentalists for business — but simply as disciples of Jesus Christ. Remind them of the most basic truths, like this one: If "the nations are like a drop in a bucket, they are regarded as dust on the scales" (Isa. 40:15), how much more their elections?

You will get opposition from your parishioners, because some who worship the modern Baal will tear their garments and cry out, "If we don't advocate for a strong military, how will America survive?" And others will wail, "The U.S. budget is a moral document!" So you will have to soothe them, otherwise you'll lose your job. You'll have to remind them that, yes, politics is important, that it's a type of neighbor love to work for the welfare of the larger community.

But everyone is telling them that 24/7. For the next five weeks, the priests of political religions will be pandering for tithes and votes from anyone who can breathe, even evangelicals. They will be playing on their fears and manipulating their hopes. Is it too much to ask that for one hour, out of the other 168 given to us in a week, that another point of view be accorded equal time?

For that one hour, instead of joining the American political chorus and naming our choice for the next prince, perhaps we should be preaching from the prophet Isaiah:

Do you not know? Do you not hear?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is [God] who sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;
who brings princes to nothing,
and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness. (40:21-23, ESV)

Pastors are right about this much: The election season is a unique moment in a church's life, but not because the pastor has the chance to lobby for his candidate. No, the Christian preacher has the unparalleled opportunity to act as the only sane person in a nation mad for power, the only voice in an ephemeral season filled with lies and half-lies to speak abiding truths — that elections (even "the most important in a generation") come and go, that princes (even "the most gifted in a lifetime") appear and pass away, that nations (even "the greatest in history") rise and fall.

And that something greater remains after the first Tuesday in November.

Mark Galli is senior managing editor of Christianity Today. This column is cross-posted on his blog.

$700 billion Rescue Plan?

2008-10-03T19:53:00.005-05:00

Today Congress passed the recently rejected $700 billion dollar rescue plan with additional amenities. President Bush said that it was imperative that we passed the last plan. On the "Today" show "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer urged that the plan pass as well. Only later to retract his statement saying that he rushed into judgment and didn't get all the facts about the failed plan. What's to say that the current plan will in fact work?

A Chinese proverb says, "Fools rush in where fools have been before." Is this hurried plan the best thing for our economy right now? Who knows? Only time will tell. And although the plan is being called the $700 billion rescue plan, it will actually cost the tax payers more than $850 billion when all is said and done.

Isn't that just great?! My question is, how did we (American's, the government) let one company get so big that the failing of it would cause mass panic, and a ripple effect? House Speaker Nancy Pelosi recently said, "In these past two weeks, we've seen things we never thought we would see before in terms of the economic insecurity of our own country." I'm sure we haven't seen the last of it either.

One aspect of the new bill I like is that it raises the amount of deposits covered by the FDIC from $100,000 to $250,000. Now, I know I'm not going to see anyone of my bank statements at either one of those amounts anytime in the new future, but it's good to know that fact regardless.

With this new plan, it will make it near impossible for both Presidential candidates to do what they've promised in lowering taxes. Not to mentions that the government reported employers cut 159,000 jobs last month, the ninth straight month of job losses. Only time will tell if this new rescue plan, will indeed rescue our economy.

Palin, Biden Debate

2008-10-02T22:07:00.002-05:00

Governor Sarah Palin seem to have had a solid night tonight (Thursday). Both her and Senator Joe Biden gave commendable arguments during the debate. Although Biden's stance on issues proved to be more firm, Palin proved more than capable of defending her stance while cleverly avoiding some questions. At one point of the debate Palin said, "I may not answer the questions the way that you (Biden) or the moderator want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people."

And that she did. I believe that she gave a solid performance during the debate. Her and Biden both as a matter of fact. This debate was more enjoyable to watch because there was no blatant disrespect amongst the debaters; as was the case in the Presidential Debate with Senator John McCain and Senator Barack Obama.

Although, Palin did not come off as the winner of the debate, she did seem much more knowledgeable than in her previous interviews with Katie Couric here or here. Palin seemed to be well informed on the issues which she chose to give answers to. There were no gaffs in tonight's debate from either VP pick, but no huge victories either. More debate coverage in the weeks to come.

Fact checking the Vice Presidential Debates

2008-10-02T21:50:00.004-05:00

The following is from AP.

WASHINGTON - Facts went adrift on taxes, deregulation and more Thursday when Republican Sarah Palin and Democrat Joe Biden clashed in the vice presidential debate.
ADVERTISEMENT

Some examples:

PALIN: Said of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama: "94 times he voted to increase taxes or not support a tax reduction."

THE FACTS: The dubious count includes repetitive votes as well as votes to cut taxes for the middle class while raising them on the rich. An analysis by factcheck.org found that 23 of the votes were for measures that would have produced no tax increase at all, seven were in favor of measures that would have lowered taxes for many, 11 would have increased taxes on only those making more than $1 million a year.

___

BIDEN: Complained about "economic policies of the last eight years" that led to "excessive deregulation."

THE FACTS: Biden voted for 1999 deregulation that liberal groups are blaming for part of the financial crisis. The law allowed Wall Street investment banks to create the kind of mortgage-related securities at the core of the problem now. The law was widely backed by Republicans as well as by Democratic President Clinton, who argues it has stopped the crisis today from being worse.

___

PALIN: "Two years ago, remember, it was John McCain who pushed so hard with the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac reform measures. He sounded that warning bell."

THE FACTS: Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska led an effort in 2005 to tighten regulation on the mortgage underwriters — McCain joined as a co-sponsor a year later. The legislation was never taken up by the full Senate, then under Republican control.

___

BIDEN: Warned that Republican presidential candidate John McCain's $5,000 tax credit to help families buy health coverage "will go straight to the insurance company."

THE FACTS: Of course it would, because it's meant to pay for insurance. That's like saying money for a car loan will go straight to the car dealer.

___

PALIN: "We cannot afford to lose against al-Qaida and the Shia extremists who are still there, still fighting us."

THE FACTS: She appeared to confuse the two main Muslim sects in Iraq. Al-Qaida is solely made up of Sunni Muslim militants. Through the course of the war, U.S. forces fought ferocious opposition from both the Sunnis and the country's dominant Shiite sects. Now, both groups are largely maintaining a cease-fire with the U.S. A much-diminished al-Qaida, mainly foreign fighters, remains the primary threat.

___

BIDEN: Said McCain supports tax breaks for oil companies, and "wants to give them another $4 billion tax cut."

THE FACTS: Biden is repeating a favorite saw of the Obama campaign, and it's misleading. McCain supports a cut in income taxes for all corporations, and doesn't single out any one industry for that benefit.

___

PALIN: Said the United States has reduced its troop level in Iraq to a number below where it was when the troop increase began in early 2007.

THE FACTS: Not correct. The Pentagon says there are currently 152,000 U.S. troops in Iraq, about 17,000 more than there were before the 2007 military buildup began.

___

BIDEN: "As a matter of fact, John recently wrote an article in a major magazine saying that he wants to do for the health care industry — deregulate it and let the free market move — like he did for the banking industry."

THE FACTS: Biden and Obama have been perpetuating this distortion of what McCain wrote in an article for the American Academy of Actuaries. McCain, laying out his health plan, only referred to deregulation when saying people should be allowed to buy health insurance across state lines. In that context, he wrote: "Opening up the health insurance market to more vigorous nationwide competition, as we have done over the last decade in banking, would provide more choices of innovative products less burdened by the worst excesses of state-based regulation."

___

PALIN: Said Alaska is "building a nearly $40 billion natural gas pipeline, which is North America's largest and most expensive infrastructure project ever to flow those sources of energy into hungry markets."

THE FACTS: Not quite. Construction is at least six years away. So far the state has only awarded a license to Trans Canada Corp., that comes with $500 million in seed money in exchange for commitments toward a lengthy and costly process to getting a federal certificate. At an August news conference after the state Legislature approved the license, Palin said, "It's not a done deal."

___

PALIN: "Barack Obama even supported increasing taxes as late as last year for those families making only $42,000 a year."

BIDEN: "The charge is absolutely not true. Barack Obama did not vote to raise taxes. The vote she's referring to, John McCain voted the exact same way."

THE FACTS: The vote was on a nonbinding budget resolution that assumed that President Bush's tax cuts would expire, as scheduled, in 2011. If that actually happened, it could mean higher taxes for people making as little as about $42,000. But Obama is proposing tax increases only on the wealthy, and would cut taxes for most others. In the March 14 budget resolution supported by Obama and Biden, McCain actually did not vote.

___

PALIN: Said a McCain-Palin administration "will support Israel," including "building our embassy ... in Jerusalem."

THE FACTS: Moving the U.S. Embassy from its present location in Tel Aviv to Jerusalem is a perennial promise of presidential candidates courting the Jewish-American vote. In fact, moving the embassy is actually required by U.S. law. But successive administrations of both parties, including President Bush's, have made the same pledge only to find that the realities of Middle East peacemaking have forced them to invoke a waiver to delay it. Jerusalem is claimed as a capital by both Israel and the Palestinians, and Israel's occupation of east Jerusalem is not internationally recognized. The city's status is a key issue of disagreement in peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians.

___

Associated Press writers Tom Raum, Steve Quinn, Jim Kuhnhenn, Matthew Lee and Lolita Baldor contributed to this report.

Palin's Fire is Dying

2008-10-01T21:52:00.005-05:00

I guess you might say, "For someone who hates politics, you sure do write about them a lot." It's true. This is my fourth post dealing with governmental issues and I have a feeling it will not be my last. It seems as if the fire which was ignited by Sarah Palin for the Republican party is slowly dying. This is mainly due to the very few interviews she's done for the media. A total of 4.

The Republican party has keep Palin at bay when it comes to her speaking with the media in any way. Upon the first announcement of Senator John McCain's running mate, there came an overwhelming influx of support for McCain. This support drove the polls in his favor. Now, however, after the Katie Couric interviews the republican candidates polls have fallen once again behind the Democratic party's candidate Senator Barack Obama.

Tomorrow night (Thursday) will be the first Vice Presidential debates with Senator Joe Biden and Governor Palin. Many are both worried and intrigued to see how it all plays out. The fire she originally brought to the race has but all died. It's been reported that six in 10 voters see her as lacking the experience to be an effective president, and a third are now less likely to vote for McCain because of her.

This is a shocking finding being that only a month ago she was rated as highly as McCain or Obama. I think it is unfortunate for Palin, because she is not used to dealing with the media at this scale and it may all be too overwhelming for her. It is of great concern among many voters that if something were to happen to 72 year-old McCain if he became President, that Palin does not have enough experience to handle the job.

I personally do not believe that neither Senators Barack Obama, John McCain, or Joe Biden are ready to be President. No one is. It is something you will have to learn. Just like all jobs. But I do think each one carries their own strengths to the table that will aide in being successful leaders.

The following excerpt comes from AP.

--The 60 percent who now see Palin as insufficiently experienced to step into the presidency is steeply higher than in a Post-ABC poll after her nomination early last month. Democrats and Republicans alike are now more apt to doubt her qualifications, but the biggest shift has come among independents.

In early September, independents offered a divided verdict on Palin's experience; now they take the negative view by about 2 to 1. Nearly two-thirds of both independent men and women in the new poll said Palin has insufficient experience to run the White House.--

It is of utmost importance that both candidates and their running mates prove without a shadow of doubt, that they can lead our nation back to the foundations our four fathers help to create. With an ailing economy, more jobs being losses, and the housing market at its lowest; this decision must be researched and thought out carefully.

Movie Review: The Orphanage

2008-09-29T22:56:00.009-05:00

My quest continues. There has to be a thriller/ horror movie out there worth seeing. Today's review is of "The Orphanage." The movie stars Laura (Belen Rueda), her husband Carlos (Fernando Cayo), and their son Simon (Roger Princep). Laura and her husband decides to buy an orphanage that she grew up in. Their son Simon, also adopted, is HIV positive; a fact that Laura and Carlos hides from him.

The storyline is beautifully crafted. The performances are spot on. The thrilling factor, however, left me cold. There's much about the movie that will draw you in. Laura takes Simon to explore an area cave where he finds more than either bargained for. He soon disappears and Laura invests all of her energy in finding him. At times the movie is reminiscent of "The Others" staring Nicole Kidman.

Months after Simons disappearance, Laura begins to feel another presence in the orphanage. Although, the movie lacks in original ways to provide a truly thrilling experience, it does offer solid performances and good plot development. The movie at times uses the suspenseful music tones to attempt to carry the movies' horror element. Often times directors use music to play to the audiences emotions which, more likely than not, doesn't work.

2 ¾ stars

(Note: All movie reviews are based on a 5 star rating.)

Movie Review: Prom Night

2008-09-28T21:42:00.004-05:00

The name alone should have staved my curiosity from a wasted night of agony, but alas it did not. On my continuing search for a descent thriller/horror movie in today’s age, I watched Prom Night.

The premise for this movie is as follows: An insane high school teacher, Richard Fenton (Johnathon Schaech), is obsessed with his former student Donna Keppel (Brittany Snow). Donna witnesses him murder her entire family all because he wanted to be with her. He later was arrested and sentence to life in prison.

Only three years later to break out of prison to wreak havoc on Donna and her classmates during their senior prom. The prom by the way is being held at a local hotel where Donna, her boyfriend, and other friends are staying afterwards. So far this plot is stupid but I wanted to see just how the story would play out.

I could go into a long and drawn out review of this movie but I would be wasting both my time and yours. The movie was dumb! I know. I know. What am I, a journalist, doing using the word dumb? Trust me, that’s the only word that I can think to describe this movie. It is a movie derided with vacuous dialogue, bad plot, horrid character development, and just plain stupid. If you have a hankering to watch this movie, let it pass.

½ star

(Note: All movie reviews are based on a 5 star rating.)